cimorene

We finally got around to getting a VPN a few weeks ago and as a result I was finally able to get a subscription to the This Old House streaming service that has all their old seasons going back to the 1980s!!!

This Old House is my favorite comfort watching, and renders nearly every other renovation show I've ever seen nearly unwatchable in comparison for all kinds of reasons. I wouldn't say it's my favorite tv show, because I don't think comparing fiction and nonfiction makes sense; it's my favorite nonfiction, though, and a lot of times nonfiction is more watchable, for whatever reason. Not to mention that renovation of old houses is more soothing than adventure and murder and essentially conflict-free.

I've watched so much This Old House recently that last night I dreamed I was writing slash fanfic about Norm Abram the master carpenter and Roger Cook the landscaper, for some reason. I mean, in the dream it wasn't my choice, it was like someone had assigned me to do it and I was pretty philosophical about trying to make it work, like if it were a Yuletide assignment you get after unwisely writing "all characters" in the signup form, and I thought it was going okay when I woke up, although I took the unusual step of writing est rel.

I was thinking recently, prompted partly by Weird Al's Handy, which contains some references to the show (although more to GC Tom Silva than to Norm, really), that a cultural institution that's been around this long has to have porn parodies out there as well. I didn't look, but every now and then I wonder what they're like - usually prompted by one of those occasions when slash goggles are making you giggle at accidentally suggestive construction terms. On one very old season, a young supplier Norm was interviewing was completely starry-eyed and apparently had a huge crush on Norm, who was his usual gentle, sincere, nebbishy self behind his coke-bottle glasses, like my dad but about carpentry instead of earth science, which got me musing about how this combination of Soft Boy and lumberjack wardrobe and carpentry is probably extremely attractive to certain parts of the gay community.

Anyway, that's probably what gave my subconscious the germ, but I have no idea where it got that pairing assignment. Wouldn't be my choice (although none of the others would either, I guess; they're all so convincingly platonic? I guess you'd need a guest star). The most compelling double-act in the show is Tom and Kevin, but they also read very paternal (or maybe avuncular). In the old Steve Thomas seasons, there's something of a double-act between him and Norm, but Steve has a less sincere and cheerful affect than anybody else in the show now or then - he's more sarcastic and critical, both in his largely joking interactions with the cast and the stuff he says in all seriousness about the houses, the locations, the work, and everything else, to the point of being almost combative towards suppliers and guests at times. Steve is a bit of a troll, so this is no doubt just how he has a good time - not exactly mean-spirited, just kind of... gleefully contrary. In keeping with this, his dynamic with Norm is also more prickly, like your exasperating cousin or brother that you barely have the energy to roll your eyes at anymore. This is more an overtone than an overwhelming mood, and it probably wouldn't look bad if it didn't have Kevin to compare to, who came in with zero experience, having previously been a banker, full of natural talent and already making everything better. All this is to say that someone could more plausibly write something pairing Norm and Steve, but I wouldn't want to read it, so I guess my subconscious's pairing assignment was better... if less convincing. (The most convincing would be Norm with the proprietor of any large woodshop- or woodworking-tool related operation he visits for the show, because he practically glows with intense interest and there's often some badinage about coming back to visit, staying permanently, trying out the equipment, etc. He always seems like he'd be perfectly willing to go for a drink right away and possibly put out in exchange for some woodwork and/or tools.)