also we didn't get enough sun or warmth but it's autumn

[cimorene]

As of today, Wax's annual vacation is now fully over without us having accomplished anything (from our long list of house repair and renovating tasks) because we still haven't emerged from depression-anxiety-exhaustion since last fall.

Wax feels much worse than me, but it would not be fair to say I've recovered from it. I have enough energy to want to accomplish a project or go for a walk but not enough to start these things on my own (it takes about 1/2 as many spoons to do them together) and enough to want to see my friends but not enough to go beyond texting one of them once a month or so.

Anyway, Wax thinks she might have a thyroid issue. Or another physical issue, but the point is, she suspects she's not just depressed or burnt out. But her employer switched healthcare providers six months ago and the new one doesn't have a local branch, so going to an appointment will mean going into Turku (25-35 min drive). Her exhaustion is therefore holding her back from seeking treatment for it.

And I guess I also feel kinda bad. I am going to have to try to meet a new GP and discuss my medications and stuff. Sometimes, though, I think what I need (not instead of medication, just like... need most) is really a rigidly-scheduled regimen of eating enough calories and sleeping and exercising to gradually increase endurance at the same time every day, but as an ADHD sufferer, I can no more make myself do those than make myself suddenly speak Finnish fluently. It feels like there should be a trick - like it shouldn't be this hard to just create routines. Or leave the house alone to go for a walk. And yet.

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

Wishing you workarounds for these barriers. Love you. Glad you have each other.

[cimorene]

Thank goodness we have each other! That way we usually manage to stagger along like a team in a three-legged race.

[mildred_of_midgard]

Not a silver bullet for everyone, of course, but I understand there are apps to help people with ADHD do exactly those things. Have you tried any of them? Or is an app just not going to give your brain what it needs?

[cimorene]

Hm. Well, actually, it might be worth a try. I haven't tried one, even though I have heard of them, because I suspected they wouldn't work for my brain. Gamification often doesn't for me. But there's nothing to lose by trying.

[mildred_of_midgard]

Maybe there's one that's less about gamification and more about organizing your goals and prompting you when the time comes?

I wish you luck!

[cimorene]

Yeah, that sounds more useful to me. And there must be some, at least.

[mildred_of_midgard]

Surely. You can't be the only one!

If you find one, let me know? I know a lot of people with ADHD and wouldn't mind being able to recommend an app more specifically than "apps exist."

[cimorene]

Sure!

[mecurtin]

I really wish we were vaguely in the same time zone, but you-all could maybe get onto a discord or other group where you can find people who can encourage each other to do stuff. In trying to find things to help my daughter's ExecD, I find https://www.reddit.com/r/ExecutiveDysfunction/ is really helpful for suggestions.

This is a discord server for "body doubling" for adhd/ExecDysfunction: https://discord.gg/X7AWzzvrzw
but Beth says she gets better results just doing it with her friends on a friend discord. I think it would be good if you two *are* on a real-time messaging slack or discord, something where we/other friends can encourage & help energize you without the lag of dreamwidth.

I've been worried about both of you a lot.

[cesy]

If you know them, randomling and senmut (sharpest_asp) both have friend servers that do this kind of thing that include UK timezone.

[cimorene]

I have seen them before, though I don't know them personally. But interesting idea!

[cimorene]

We both use Discord actually, but not really like that. Wax is active in a fandom discord for 911. I chat with a couple of friends but I found the same kind of shyness about introducing myself to a group discord as a real live space, so I totally would if I had a fandom interest that I was driven to talk about, but without one I've just had two servers in my list for like three years and never gotten around to reading their intro material.

I think doubling and things like that seem more suitable for specific and discrete tasks that you need to tackle, like sitting down to write, but part of my problem - especially the inability to create a daily routine and schedule - is that nothing is in discrete tasks and there's no external deadlines. I can see that a friend group would maybe be more effective for that situation, but I can't just go pick one up, you have to get to know all the people in it...!

[mecurtin]

You *could* pick one up: we could make a Friends of Cim & Wax discord server, where we would sit around & chat &, as a treat, help you out from time to time.

[cimorene]

Hm... do you think so...? I don't know how many of my friends actually use discord actively! But maybe it would be worth a try.

[mecurtin]

Yes! I think so! and I will start setting something up & inviting people this evening (eastern time) & weekend