cimorene

from about seventh grade until last summer after my freshman year of college, my bedroom was immediately off of the kitchen. there was actually an adjoining door, wedged shut with a bookcase full of my mom's cookbook collection and a nice collection of handmade ceramics (mine, mom's, and those purchased from southern folk artists mixed) on the kitchen side, and a dresser on mine.

also, she bought me an alarm clock in sixth grade when i went for a week to a gifted kids' camp and had to get a tetanus shot, because i was afraid of needles.

i never learned how to set it. i didn't know last year either. despite how easy it is, i've never had to set an alarm clock.

as long as i can remember my daddy has woken up at 5:30 every morning, and he woke me up by knocking on my door twice or three times until i yelled to answer him. he did this all summer long as well, and when he was gone my mother did it.

my internal clock is tough, though.

guinevere33's cd alarm clock trained her so that she'd wake up as the cd spun and dropped into place before the music started; my daddy trained me so i'd wake three to five minutes early to the sound of dishes clinking, doors opening and closing in the kitchen--light spilling under the door. the sound of people moving about in a house at morning--clinks and clicks and footsteps--that says 'you're safe' to me.

it says, 'daddy will be along to wake you any minute, and then you'll get up and stumble into the kitchen half-dressed, blinking, and hug him and hide your face in his shoulder, and he'll say good morning, sweetie and you'll grumble something because he thinks it's cute when you're grumpy, even though you're happy; and he'll offer to make you tea or coffee and you'll mumble or just nod, and you'll sit at your chair sipping tea until you're awake enough to go back to your room and finishe deciding what to wear.'

every few days i wake up with this sense of spreading security, secretly happy, not for no reason, but because my housemates are making breakfast, or speaking to each other, or taking showers, and there are footsteps in the hall and the clicks of light switches.

today could be a good day.