cimorene

so, to recap the visit: my favorite person in the UNIVERSE is my cousin aubry. imagine. uhm. well, we've been since before either of us can remember, and we've never lived near. picture us, every time we meet, twice or three times a year since we were only a foot tall, waiting anxiously for the other, flying into each others' arms with little squeals. burying our faces in each other's hair and crying, sometimes, when we go.

she couldn't get off of work, and her parents are visiting without her, and it's just. very. very. surreal. i mean, i'm shut in my room all the time anyway, but if she were here... i wouldn't be alone.

so meanwhile, my "big sister," lisa. she's, uhm, 30-something? like, she was in graduate school when i was twelve. 34, 36? she was supposed to take me out this afternoon to talk. now, i can't talk about sex with my parents, really. i mean. they'd let me, but ew. no aubry. so i was DYING to see lisa and talk about sex.

she didn't show up because she thought aubry was here and she assumed i was busy. we talked on the phone instead, and the sex talk is postponed till thursday. i'm going slowly insane. i want to talk to kk desperately, as a stopgap (not to in any way insult her delightful conversation, which is utterly swishy and snuggle-worthy). furthermore, i want to write all of it out of me into this story and it's not. going.

i'm so. and i don't know if i feel good or bad, today. oh! i made a new icon, though. my mouth, or rather, my new red lipstick. well. my mouth too. but that's not the point.