help! the l-word?

[cimorene]

for those of you who are happily settled in romantic relationships with life-partners:

how big a deal was saying 'i love you' the first time? did you ever say it? did it occur to you that it was a big deal? did you bypass it as sapped of all meaning and express yourself some other way instead? was there ever, like, a mutual confession, and if so, do you think of it as a milestone, or does it blend in because really, in retrospect, you both knew it already anyway?

(i have only my one, personal experience to draw from, and wax_jism and i differ wildly in our use of the 'love' word. i don't know how realistic basing myself on that is. fictional!BM and RFM are not like me. they are more the hallmark-card-buying sort of person, so i need a more representative sample.)

Comments

[aynatonal.livejournal.com]

My first important relationship, both of us were kind of fucked up about love and even though we did love each other, we agreed that "I love you" was such a trite and cliched phrase, without personal meaning, and we wouldn't use it. So instead, we said "I adore you." And even though we broke up long ago and later she got married, divorced and had two children, and I'm getting married next year, when we talk on the phone, that's still what we say to each other.

Fast forward to my next important relationship, and I'm still kind of fucked up about love. I felt like telling K I loved him for months, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Finally, we were lying in bed one night and we got into a bit of a fight that culminated in him saying, "I don't even know how you *feel* about me!" And me saying, "Well, I kind of, you know, think I might possibly, um. Be in love. With you." And then I burst into tears. Then there was hugging and kissing and mutual declarations and stuff. So it was pretty memorable :)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

that second one is REALLY cute.

i don't think that deciding it is a trite and cliched phrase devoid of personal meaning is NECESSARILY indicative of being fucked-up about love. i mean, you might well be, but, you know, it IS rather cliched. and it's used to mean such a wide range of things that it's actually sort of non-specific.