cimorene

"ELICINA® Natural Snail Cream also contains in a natural bio-available form, seven of the most valued skin-care-ingredients, the cosmetic and dermatology industry has thrived to combine for a healthy and beautiful skin.

Now, in one unique balanced substance, combined by nature's wisdom itself."

... i should randomly google things more often. look at those sentences again. yes, it is SNAIL slime for acne treatment.

AHAHAHAHHA CAN'T. BREATHE. the beginning of the 'story of discovery' page:

"For over six hundred million years I have been wandering on planet earth. Suddenly, during the "Ancient Greek Period" people like Hippocrates, Zezzos, Pliny among others, used me for medical purposes. I could heal whooping cough and gastric ulcers among other things. Hey, I was even the symbol of the drug stores!

As time passed by, people thought of me as a delicious food, and as a result, I don't have much family left in Europe!"

(don't you just see that with a ":("?)