my great-grandma had a heart attack.

[cimorene]

yeah, so, fuck, man. it totally sucks. she's really old, but she's this sweet little old lady. i don't see her that much because she lives far away.

and i feel so guilty because i don't relate to her that much. my great-grandparents are like alien creatures. from the 20s, and great-grandpa used to be a trapper, and she lived on a farm, and lived through the Depression. it's just incomprehensible. also, her house is dirty and always smells bad, and i don't like to go there. yet another reason to feel guilty. when we visited our other family in kansas this christmas, my parents went to see her (only for one night), but i skipped and stayed with my cousin/aunt/uncle/second family instead.

fuck.

i don't know if i'm halfway-crying because of the guilt or because i really care about her more than i know or because i feel like i should cry.

Comments

[tenebraeli.livejournal.com]

**hugs**

Don't feel guilty, it never helps.

Just, hang in there.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thanks... i try not to.

get better, you.