meta, aka (in this case) exaggerate-the-fandom-trends

[cimorene]

"this is the story i [pick one:  totally would write if i had more time;  have been dying for somebody else to write for me;  think would be really great but don't dare do and hope some other member of the fandom will take over for me;  dreamed up last night at a slash get-together while high on sugar and pot brownies; wrote in chat a few minutes ago and desired to share with you all the delicious crackedness of].




"first john and rodney get trapped in an elevator on an alien planet, and start bantering about marxism, the alien quadrilogy and the merits of spam (junk food or mail!  you decide!  snail mail or e-mail?  in fact, i think john and rodney should debate that.  john could tell a story about getting his neighbour's spam mail by accident while rodney got progressively more irritated, until he got side-tracked into ranting about his hate for forwards and his  plans to ban them from the atlantis server.  john doesn't admit to being behind the one with the ascii carebear hug, but he thinks about it). then their native guide appears sometime in here--sometime before the inevitable making out, i mean--dressed like the chiquita banana, and tells them unless they cooperate, he'll be forced to kill puppies (and rodney tries to say they should let him because puppies aren't as valuable to the future of atlantis as he is, but john won't hear of it because... puppies!).

"eventually we find out he's (the chiquita man, not rodney) working for the enemy and they're forced to have sex (john and rodney, not the chiquita man and anybody)(maybe at gunpoint?). i'm thinking rodney doesn't want to go along with it (being held at gunpoint makes him nervous and also he says "what, you actually think then they're going to just let us go?  right."), but john offers him a sundae ("you have icecream?  where did you get it?"). somewhere in there is this line of dialogue: [insert line of dialogue].  although they have to stop to discuss whether they've ever done it in an elevator before (no, and at first john tries to say he came close, but he eventually admits it was more like he was in an elevator with a hot chick when it stopped for a couple of seconds and he thought about it a lot), they eventually get around to actually having sex, and john demonstrates that he's either not as straight as rodney assumed or has a lot of natural skill at blowjobs.  the aliens take them out of the elevator and are either setting them free, or taking them off to be human sacrifices (rodney's hypothesis) or for a shower (john's) when the point becomes moot because lorne shows up with a number of marines and automatic weapons.  then they live happily ever after and adopt a toy poodle."

Comments

[jennaria.livejournal.com]

You know, the truly terrifying thing is that I'm not even in the fandom and I recognize the trend.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

omg this is the best fic ever! XD

I've just now thought of a sequel. So what happens is that the toy poodle is actually sent by the aliens (for some reason I've not thought of yet, but you know aliens totally do that kind of stuff, so it'd work) and what ends up happening is that Rodney and John turn into poodles, too! XD But the aliens messed up, so poodle!Rodney is...a girl! And of course poodle!John can't keep his ickle paws off him, so they end up shagging like bunnies poddles non-stop and Rodney (Rodnette?) ends up pregnant with a little of the CUTEST poodle puppies known to man. You just know Rodney's poodle puppies would be sooooooo cute. Eventually something happens and they destroy the evil toy poodle sent from the aliens and get turned back into humans, but they keep the litter of poodle puppies and raise them as their family (everyone tells them to give them up, but they totally can't, even though it was a litter of ten, because they really are their babies!).

Nnnnngh, I'm all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it!

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

zomg typoes. And I didn't even do that on purpose. ^_^;;

[cimness.livejournal.com]

baby poodles! so cute! write it, write it!

[emmuzka.livejournal.com]

And Rodney would be like "Bring it on!" with the puppies but then the banana man would bring out the heavy weapons and use kittens instead? And the additional dialog where rodney confesses that the biggest let down in his childhood was that he heard that when you get your tonsils removed you'd get as much ice cream as you wanted when in reality he got only one lousy cup? And then they would name the toy poodle after a ice cream flavor?

[cimness.livejournal.com]

BRILLIANCE. SHEER BRILLIANCE.

i'm thinking "butter pecan", but i could be swayed in favour of "jamoca almond fudge" or perhaps "chocolate chip cookie dough".

[penm.livejournal.com]

Oh man I am not even in the fandom and I think this is hilarious.

and rodney tries to say they should let him because puppies aren't as valuable to the future of atlantis as he is, but john won't hear of it because... puppies!

This part, especially!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

did you see emma's suggestion, where the bad guys counter with kittens and that makes rodney cave? one thing you can say for crackfic--the possibilities are truly endless and rarely boring. *g*

[neery.livejournal.com]

OMGWTF BRILLIANT YOU MUST WRITE THIS!!1!1! *g*

I have to admit that I do this, and without much of a bad conscience, too. I also love to read about other persons' fic ideas. And I steal borrow ideas, occasionally.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

oh yes! they can be really fun. and sga doesn't actually have a total monopoly on them either, i hear.