spam from brandybuck: the beta survey

Who was your first beta?

it was apetslife!

What was the story and fandom?

i met her through nslash (of course), but the story was unintended, a star trek kirk/spock story which subsequently won 1st place golden orgasm (fandom-wide awards) for multi-part k/s that year. (i never thanked pet for that. then again, she did the FIRST beta, but my beloved k'salamander, thank the lord, appeared before the end of the story and helped me a great deal more with it.) i did a substantial, like half-the-story-added rewrite at pet's behest, and then k'sal polished every scene down to its current state.

Are you still writing in that fandom?

fuck yes. kirk/spock is my all-time hugest otp.

Which beta(s) had the most impact on your writing?

k'sal, although i've had assistance from lots of other people. she wears the crown. she also writes the fucking BEST star trek slash out there. like [in check].

What is your favorite story or series of what you've written?

i always like the recent stuff best. i'm very fond of the remus/sirius i'm working on with wax_jism. of my completed fanfics, my favorites are [identity] (she-ra femmeslash, nc-17) and [delirium] (lotr rps, nc-17!!!, domlijah). these happen to be k'salamander's favorites as well.

Why?

delirium was WORK, man, i practically sweated it out, and it was fucking EXHAUSTING. i poured myself into it and i've never written such a concentrated point of view. it's all third person but focused exclusively on elijah's train of thought, and he's a little bit psychotic. took me months to write and wax_jism held my hand the whole way through.

identity is very, well, neat. it's reasonably short, it's got some beautiful imagery and some points to make about love and family, and it makes them quickly and cleanly.

Who was the beta?

k'sal read both after they were posted; identity had none. for delirium the readers were (takes a breath): my dad; wax_jism; nemoricultrix; viva_gloria; kmazzy; ninglor; guinevere33; and buffett, who should actually go second after wax if we were going in order of importance, because they both held my hand while i was writing and bunnying, and the illustrious buffett soothed me about the accuracy of the hospital scenes.

What are your next two favorite stories or series of what you've written? Why?

[what i am to you], a star trek tos post- 3rd movie k/s, because, again, it's short and intense and neat. i can't pick another.

Who was/were the beta(s)?

ninglor and nemoricultrix--they're my "no k'sal" team. ;)

Who beta-ed your most recent story?

that would be the due south piece [palm to palm], and the betas were southpaw526 and guinevere33.

What do you consider the most important quality in a beta reader?

i couldn't define it. adrienne and jennifer and anne are good at pointing out where they were confused, typos and mechanical mistakes and the occasional word choice. k'sal is just fucking magic. her brain, like, creates a mirror image of the story in this metaphorical, um, three-dimensional thing with interwoven lines and it has a fucking shape and... i don't know. she's able to pull out what the point is even when i didn't know it. if i'm having trouble writing part, she can tell me why. ::hugs her fiercely::

What do you consider the most important thing to be accomplished in a beta read? (Grammar, spelling, continuity, plot, character, canon, fanon, hand holding, other?)

anything that makes the story less than the best it could be, they should be able to see.

How has your writing changed from your first stories?

i think i'm just getting, well, better. more subtle, better at smut and pacing. among other things.

(no subject)

supermoping and the kerfluffle image



added to my user info.

well, that was interesting.

people grovelled to today:

1. miyama-sensei. in person and by email.
2. tawa-sensei (my advisor/idol/reason i came to this school). in person. only it was sort of friendly and she ruffled my hair. i miiiiissssss her. wah.
3. the shrinks' secretary via email.
4. logic professor via email.
5. writing professor in person.

grovelling is an interesting experience for me because i have never in my life (at least, as long as i can remember) doubted that i was smarter, cuter, and just generally better than pretty much everyone. so in my head there's the part concentrating on acting suitably humble, and the part giggling insanely, and then, of course, the part bitchbitchbitching because HE'S the moron and HE SHOULD BE GROVELING TO ME, DAMMIT, MOTHERFUCKER WHO CALLS SCIENCE FICTION 'SCI FI' AND LIKES ANNA FUCKING KARENINA.

it's been a good day.

when i was in japan,

once we drove back from a bakery--i think on the bus on the way back from mt. fuji--called 'bread from the heart.' you see a lot of that kind of thing there. i kept a diary of funny english--this was before i'd heard of engrish. lots of good things come from the heart, apparently.

also english poetry is superior to spanish. poetry always sounds more profound to me in spanish, which might just be because it's prettier.

let me tell a story. i've mentioned it before, so close your ears or whatever. 11th grade a japanese girl named mayumi lived with us for a whole year. the japanese are naturally reticent, but i was in the midst of a passionate love affair with japan. i thought i wanted to live there for the rest of my life and i wanted to start then. the problem was that mayumi WASN'T japan; she was a rather shy japanese girl, one with a wry sense of humor, a delicate sensibility for fashion and social niceties, a deeply-ingrained sense of racial superiority, and... well. not a lot in common with me, though she was very intelligent. for months we barely talked, but i drove her to school and we ate lunch together every day all year. some lunches we didn't talk. but there was--there was something between us even then. a kind of bond. we enjoyed being together. we knew we cared. after a few months we were more open. still spent a lot of time apart--me obsessively doing homework, her locked in her room. but i never went anywhere alone, anywhere. the gas station? mayumi, want to drive down the block? wal-mart for nail-polish, on a whim? the grocery store? the mall--three times in one weekend without EVER buying anything? brilliant. we loved each other in spite of these differences. i was wild for japan; she found me an application. i spent that summer--6 weeks--living with her family in nishinomiya and we bonded even more there, talking all night long over the little kitchen table eating yogurt icecream.

she cried the day i left and hugged me. we were sisters, we said. they didn't want me to leave, any of her family, and i didn't want to go. she had missed me the two weeks after i went to japan before she left my family; what would the year be like?

but i KNEW i was going to amherst, which has a partnership with dooshisha university in kyoto. mayumi's papa graduated from there. i was going to go there junior year. i was going to see her, like, every week. i was still planning to teach english there for three years after college.

i've realized now that not only do i not want to do those things--not even study abroad in japan--i don't want to continue to study japanese. it's been my focus, like, my 'thing' for longer than writing has (or for longer than i admitted the latter)--for SO LONG. it would be as if the world had been jerked out from under me, but it already was. moving away from home last year, that first anxiety attack, that semester of hell--i'm not the same person i was then at all.

but i still miss her.

hello, everyone. i'm neurotic and highly anxious, and elitist, which i sometimes feel guilty for and sometimes don't. i don't like people, i suck at making friends, but i'm fiercely clingy and loyal to the ones i have. the internet practically keeps me alive, for several reasons and through a handful of people.

look at the icon thechaosdiva made for me.

yeah, that too. bring it on. i've learned a lot in the last two years about giving a fuck, or rather, about not.