(no subject)

this is... cute.

and for tomorrow.

i slept four hours in the middle of the day today and i still feel like i'm stumbling around wrapped in gauze. ...hot gauze.

dream about badly-decorated room, cuddly wax, a tiny little kitten, wax's brother on reality tv...

in my dream i was staying with some people, foreign country and some strange kind of class thing, everyone in this one narrow L-shaped room--with couch and chairs, glass dining table, pair of twin beds. so there were some women in the house, and they had a new cat, a really tiny one. and also wax was sleeping there. and several other extra people too.

we're going to the park and i'm being forced to carry the kitten curled up in a ball in the bottom of my bookbag with books on top of it, and i'm worried she's going to scratch my chest and/or escape from the bag and run away in the park, but she doesn't. we go to the park; someone sends me in the car to drive the kitten back to her house and back to the park again and for some reason in the dream i don't know how to drive, but i do it anyway.

these people are very unitarian universalist. everyone's sitting in a circle, and they're talking about respectful foods to eat and the possible future of one absent friend (who for some reason was camillafarfalla in my mind). (these people made me nervous, but i was like, 'well, at least camilla will be back here SOME time.') my antipathy for the touchy-feeliness of uus eventually made me leave. so i walked twice around the circle of the park, now carrying the kitten in the crook of my arm, and went back to the house where there were just a couple of people, plus wax.

then they left us (me'n'wax) alone, and we were planning to take the opportunity to make out, i think, but kept getting distracted so we never got past this vague cuddly-standing-up-kissing thing, and then some people came home and wax decided we should be dancing. either i completely suck at dancing or i suck at dancing with another person. wax can tell you this. in the dream i freeze in absolute panic. each movement of a foot was like an agony of this self-consciousness because i knew, KNEW it was stupid! so then we kind of sidled around the side of the L-shaped room for some privacy, and we were going to make out anyway, but we kept pausing and looking out of the corners of our eyes at these people, nervous they were going to be horrified and do something horrible to us.

so we have to escape the house. again we take the kitten and this time i take wax to the park. we start walking around the circle in the opposite direction, and around the first little bit of bend, next to the path there's this incredibly steep slope covered with bracken and other nasty stuff, and at the bottom of it is a lake, and floating in the lake is this... raft thing in two stories with an attached slide into the water, all made out of brown twigs tied together. naturally wax and i both fall down the hill and end up stuck in the water, because someone's coming by and we leap off the path. and then we discover that one of the guys on the raft is wax's brother mece, who is sitting on the top of the raft in some of those very silly too-large, calf-length swimming trunks and waving and grinning and carrying out an entire conversation by yelling while wax and i cling like drowned rats to the edge of his raft. he's on a reality tv show, he says (!???), with these other guys, living on two of these raft things. then he lowers his voice to a more quiet but still shouting shout and says all the guys have been having to pretend, for the show, to go to these beach parties with women and then had to ditch the cameras and sneak back because secretly they all want to win (something or other?) for their wives. then he turns to the camera and waves enthusiastically at his wife.

and that was about it.

and i came to realize that i did not wish to be the consort of a legend.

i just don't have the energy to write back to this study abroad coordinating idiot from minnesota, yet. i finished that novel that i started last night (finally) and read three lord peter wimsey short stories. and i also finished writing another star trek story. what is up with the not-hotness of the sex i write lately? hello. maybe it's a flaw in my method of writing spock. i overdo the tongue-in-cheek sometimes, i know. i'm just not sure if i want to amend that situation. anyway, i can't e-mail it to k'sal, but maybe if i give it a few weeks it'll gain me the space to revise it myself.

i'm so tired. and morose. and moody. this mood icon is perfect, though. i was trying to see if the comments k'sal sent me last month for 'only logical' were of any additional help. actually, i made some revisions, mainly in dialogue. but it perked me right up. i love my boys! especially late in life. they're just inevitably so sweet.