rave: 0, medical profession: 2

frodo: so your earring has actually gone inside your ear?
my brain: no, actually, i've been lying this whole time. haha, joke's on you!
me: yes. see? *points helpfully again* the back is sticking out--there--but the front isn't, because it's been swollen over.
frodo: oh wow! oh, that's got to be really unusual! i've never seen that happen! goodness, i don't know what to do!
einstein: i don't know.
frodo: i just don't know.
my brain: so, unless i'm wrong, what you're saying is, you don't know? ohhh. i get it.
me: should i, uh, should we maybe just anasthetize it and pull it out?
einstein: maybe you should go to the emergency room.
my brain: LISTEN, BITCHES, IF I WANTED TO GO TO THE GOD DAMN EMERGENCY ROOM I WOULD GO TO THE ONE THAT IS A BLOCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE AND NOT HAVE WOKEN UP AT SIX FUCKING O'CLOCK THIS MORNING SO THAT I COULD RIDE IN TO WORK WITH MY MOM, SIT IN HER OFFICE FOR AN HOUR, SIT IN YOUR OFFICE FOR TWO HOURS, AND THEN FIND OUT THAT I HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

-dorkorific

the whole entry is hilarious, from the harvard graduate doctor to the cute irish guy in the emergency room to the woman on the cell phone. you should really read it all.

some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a five-pound note

uhhhh.

1. the airconditioning is broken.

2. my bank doesn't let you get the money online without paying a fee.

3. paypal won't let you accept credit card payments without a fee.

4. target rejected my debit card twice today. there should've been PLENTY of money.

5. i have $3 cash. this isn't enough to fix the problem with a deposit.

6. kmazzy sent me a happy harry potter day card! HEE. i'm saving it to read when... my hands aren't sweaty.

sailed away for a year and a day

i lost some lj comments cause i deleted them from the server without opening them by accident. it has to do with how i have two different mail programs. anyway, no one be offended. there were about... er... forty. ::shuffles::

too much information quiz

from dominatemeplz. i think that old one i saw once was better, though. like 'what was the weirdest object you ever used' and... yeah. that old one was funny. but this isn't so bad. ( Read more... )

oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried; but what shall we do for a ring?

the cure for a 'frozen' ac unit is to turn it off for three hours. so it's off for at least another half hour. my hands are sweaty, the eyeliner i wasn't able to scrub off is sweaty, but that doesn't mean it's budging; and it's so hot holding my phone in my hand is unbearably hot.

someone get me a margarita.

humina.

ahahah, picturephone porn <3.

what a beautiful pussy you are, you are, you are

at iconsensual now... i'm particularly fond of this batch.

123

has a nice ring to it

ahahah--'better living through orgasm'?

i want that on a shirt.

did you know that a majority of anti-depressants kill sex drive? fuck that.

in other news i think the airconditioner fixing people are pretty definitely not coming--the fuckers. it's SO FUCKING HOT IN HERE. i'm like, barely able to move and it's so gross.

::whimper::

ETA: STILL HOT.

auuugh the sweat the sweat drowning! i'm like a limp, wilted flower, i just want to DIE, i can't even get caps lock to work, THAT is how hot this is. HELP.