this bizarre super-awake urge to write...

what are the side-effects of paxil?

o.0

these extremely vivid dreams have blown in like a monsoon or something. all of a sudden i'm getting tired faster--i got falling-over sleepy after only six hours TWICE today and i seem to wake up, all at once, like fully awake, after three--and then having these dreams and they stick. and all of a sudden i'm getting this overwhelming urge to write them.

i woke up just now with another original novel filling up my head so fast i can't write down all the scenes and i think it'll work. you'll recall this happened last night too. i'm not scared about getting it published; i just want to write it. this one wouldn't be young adult. it involves a female protagonist and would probably be told in the first person, but she's clearly not me. and it's kind of complicated because it would have a surprise ending... a surprise ending that worked.

you know how usually you wake up thinking 'oh my god, that dream would make the best action adventure/romance/occult/fantasy/science fiction/mystery novel EVAH!11!!!1' and then you write it down, and go back to sleep or whatever, and three hours later you're scratching your head in bemusement because it's really lame, like chasing aliens through the yard with ray guns and hiding behind a fern with two members of *nsync; or a giant paper bag destroying the ceiling as it falls onto your head; or a mystery guy getting locked in the closet with you and you jerk him off and then spend two days walking around looking for him in the crackhead's version of your local university?

yeah, but these dreams are getting gradually less like that, i think. like, i had some on vacation that were eh, but would have worked maybe, not really, big flaws, ff.net, probably i wouldn't rec them, or i'd do it with a thing like 'it's good but you could drive a truck through this plot hole.' well, last night's could probably be fixed up with some structural changes that didn't affect the flow of action a lot. and tonight's--would just have to have some clues to the mystery ending distributed through it.

o.0 like, what is it doing to my brain chemistry--not that i'm necessarily pissed off. when i get done scribbling madly, i guess i'm going to try to find information about it.

(no subject)

ahahhaa, these gay icons at gay_icons are great.

(no subject)

i switched cimness over to s2 and now it's really neat-looking, even though it's still tabular indent.

scary paxil side-effects

basically, it's supposed to cause dependency/withdrawal syndrome and be a tremendous mess to go off of, like people thinking they're crazy and getting palpitations and vertigo and basically sucking a whole whole lot.

look at this bit of an online petition:

SKB falsely advertises, through its Paxil labeling and otherwise, that only drug abusers are at risk of physical and psychological dependence, and withdrawal problems when tapering back or abruptly discontinuing Paxil usage. SKB knows such representations are false, and that all patients, including patients not having a history of drug abuse, are susceptible to withdrawal problems after tapering back or abruptly discontinuing Paxil.

...i'm mildly worried. should i call the doctor and just be like... tell her this stuff? say 'yo'? what if i'm just being excessively anxious and paranoid about this? cause like. it is a pretty popular drug, the bad side-effects (other than withdrawal?) are only 10% or something, and... i don't know. and, like, the official site is all 'this stuff keeps recurring so blah blah it may be necessary to take for a long time blah blah don't go off it.' well, obviously they just want to sell it and... but they're right, depression does go on for a long time, and i don't want to take medication for it my whole life, like i'm crippled or something. or do i.

wah.

at the top of my lungs

great. so the dog is barfing on the floor. >.

wtf? dream

OMG. i just had an extremely weird dream. (note, another four hours of sleep, pretty even.)

guinevere33, you have to hear the whole thing.

in brief, though.

i came out of a mcdonald's (here!) in the winter, although it was very snowy and icy, to discover that my car had completely collapsed and was now utterly flat and two-dimensional. guinevere33's mother came by and offered me a ride, and said in passing that guinevere33 had been very upset for months about the people writing hate letters about me, particularly this girl from our girl scout troop. and then she was talking about all these professors who go to my church like 'they wrote another letter to the paper, and i've always liked gene, but i thought they should sign the parts they wrote. and it was a little tacky, maybe.' i was like, 'what? what hate letters?' and she wouldn't tell me what they were about. and so then we arrived at my house (why not hers?) and a giant black dog chased her as she was coming up the stairs inside, so i went to go wake my dad and tell him about the car, and i couldn't.

then i posted about what she said to livejournal, and katsrequiem offered to meet me in a cafe and tell me the whole story, which she did. and i did, and she showed me the original letter, which was by kobe bryant and included a map to my house, and said that he hated me because he 'assumed i was a good little white and christian girl, with a name like that' and hated me because that was what he used to be. and apparently then this girl from our girl scout troop had spread the letter around. so i called guinevere33 and she said, 'i don't know why he [kobe] called the police. it only resulted in them immediately issuing a warrant for his arrest.'

lotrps linkses

msa parody thingamabob bwahahahahhahaha.

msa's letter to the other tinhats about comiccon

a devastatingly sweet report from a girl who got backstage at comiccon and talked to dom, sean, and elijah

(no subject)

i think i'm gonna go tidy a bit. mommy's coming home today and 'twill make her happy and besides, wax still isn't back.

also: RAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!

too long we have tarried

well, that* sucked.

*a mcgonagall/dumbledore story i just read; my attempt to cheer myself up by taking a shower; tidying; listless movements towards making lunch; call to my mom; re-reading the karggo-in-progress

i put on a pretty dress. well, it can't make me feel worse, can it? i was going to post these pictures of me and my sister from last week.

( 8 am sunday morning )

so many entries lately. spammalicious, eh? (urg.)

what am i going to do with this damned story? i have to finish it. i can't leave it lying around and work on something else, i can't.

interspecies?

went out in my new year's party dress and marmalade prowled across the driveway at me, mewling. so i crouched down and, naturally, my skirt pooled around me. he perked up, looking very interested, and crawled right between my knees, the skinny little perv. he plopped himself down inside my skirt on the folded-under edge, purring like mad and kneading the lining.

( a wee marmalade collage )

(no subject)

i? am feeling cynical.

rave, i keep looking at the e-mail and then not writing a response. being depressed gets me like that sometimes. sorry.

oh god, SOMEONE i can talk to get online! raaaaaaaaay. holls! poppet!

(no subject)

AHAHAH! it's the story of a girl who got james marsters to sign a life-sized dummy dressed as him called 'the spike-bot'!

in totally random other news: this dress i'm wearing is sex on a stick. why does anyone (without big boobs) EVER wear bras with slinky dresses?