weird story, jay and silent bob recs

last night i ended up nearly yelling with laughter quite unexpectedly when going through the jay & silent bob slash archive.

you see, i remember about five years ago in the summer, my cousins panda, kyndra, aubry and i were closeted in panda's room with a copy of cosmopolitan i bought, reading the sex articles of course, and making fun of them. this particular article was about how to bring spice back into your love life by having sex in novel settings, like on the beach, the roof of your apartment building, out in the woods, and in the back of a car. and each setting came with a *card* full of guidelines, about the size of a baseball card, and they were printed together and *perforated* so you could, i guess, take them with you for reference! they had a little list of 'supplies' (like picnic basket, blanket, wine bottle) for each location, tips for selecting location (no people around on the beach, no bumpy rocks on the ground in the woods, no possibility of falling off the roof). and each one had a 'spicy' sex tip specific to the location. the one in the woods was the worst. you were supposed to find a large, perfectly round stone (???), make sure it was clean first (!!!), and use it to firmly massage the perineum while blowing your guy on the forest floor. this was supposed to make him come super-hard.

so i was reading this story called hotsweatymansex by modgequeen and... *jay does this*. on the bed, though! he reaches to the floor, where he has *put aside* a smooth rock, and does that. i'm sitting there going, 'deja vu.' and 'this is so weird.' and 'people actually DO that shit? cosmo didn't just make it up???' and then he says... 'just a little something i picked up from cosmo.' that was when i gasped and panted with laughter. (however, other than that, the story has pretty much no merit.)

waiting on sunday, by kelandris, has an intriguing potential in concept and doesn't meet it. would be a prime candidate for a remix, like. i sometimes rec stories like this anyway because i think the thought-provoking aspect is worth it. this time, it won't go on the recs page. it's not good enough. but i'm recc'ing it here for those who may be intrigued.

subtext is kelandris's version of that obligatory story that goes overboard with the meta. it's also r, cute, and funny. but not good enough for the recs page.

one that will make the recs page is kelandris's sweet dreams, which is nearly pure porn. it's nice porn, though, and it's sweet and believable and warm-fuzzy. sadly, it doesn't have humorous dialogue. i guess you can't have everything.

hp rec

jjtaylor's conversation with remus. pg. angst. not exactly normal fic.

cravings, livejournal, fic-only journals

1. man, i SO want to see a good movie. not just rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead, which i've been thirsting for. anything good. fuck. i can't afford to go to blockbuster till i get a job. i should go apply this afternoon.

2. i fuckin' love livejournal.

3. so many people have fic journals. i fiddled with the userinfo at cimness for almost half an hour, to what avail, i ask you? but i think there should be a little fake clique with pretty banners. possible featuring, say, statues of bastet. i know that ninglor loves to make little bannery things. and they're usually very pretty. ::cough::

fic journals

ninglor agreed. she's making a 'fic journals' banner which i'm going to put in cimness, and we're going to link to an eclectic list of fic journals. i mean, it seems like everyone has one, and if you're looking for fic, it's a useful way to do so. so come on...

[Poll #255230]

ROTHMAN. and rosencrantz/guildenstern.

[Poll #255232]