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5 Oct 2012
"Look at his eyes: they're spinning beach balls of doom! His hard disk must've crashed!"
"It is staring you in your fat, ferrety face!"
"He was tired." "What was it, metal fatigue?"
"Permission to snigger." "Permission refused." "May have to snigger anyway, sir."
"Time is the great healer. Unless you've got a rash, in which case you'd better use ointment."
"Such low-life conniving - it's impossible not to be impressed! What I wouldn't give to have your weasel genes, sir!"
"Harness your stupidity, sir! Employ your witlessness! Use your empty-headed, simplistic moron-mind and find a solution!"
"He's got the power of ignorance." "And with the ignorance he's got, that makes him one of the most powerful men who's ever lived!"
"So you're saying when you don't know enough to know that you don't know enough, there's no fear holding you back! You can achieve things which people with more brains can't!"
"I'm thinking wearing leather underpants with studs is a real mistake if you put them on inside-out."
"What am I gonna do with 58 minutes' more life?" "Have half a juggling lesson?"
"I did everything with that arm! We were inseparable! At least I thought we were."
"David, come on, you got a virus, it's fatal, it happens!"
"The only bonding I want to do with him involves a tube of superglue and a rabid hamster."
"It's sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that've been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice, and shoved into someone's eye!"
"The red, green, and blue alerts are all flashing! What does that mean?" "Either we're under attack, sir, or we're having a disco!"
"Sometimes you just gotta say: 'The laws of time and space - who gives a smeg?'"
"I'm no psychologist, but maybe the bleak, lonely, pointless emptiness of our hopeless, futile predicament is beginning to get to him."
"We've got less choice than a Welsh fish-and-chips shop."
"He's looking so geeky I don't think he could even get into a science fiction convention."
"Oh, for a really world-class psychiatrist!"
"The poor devil must've scrawled it in his death throes using a combination of his own blood and even his own intestines!" "Who would do that?" "Someone who badly needed a pen."
"I think our friend the suicide squid is about to make an appearance."
"Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat, this is not a daffodil!"
"Obviously whatever he has in mind will be facilitated by my being slippery and pliant."
"I wouldn't trust you to open a can of sardines that was already open."
"I'd just like to say that over the years, I've come to regard you as people I met."
"Well, Sartre, we don't like existentialists around here. And we certainly don't like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo-necks, filling everyone's heads with their theories about the bleakness of existence and the absurdity of the cosmos! Clear?"
"Rasputin! Bring hither the skin-diving suit with the bottom cut out, and unleash the rampant wildebeest!"
"A question that will tax your new IQ to its very limits and stretch the sinews of your knowledge to bursting-point!" "This is going to be about waffles, isn't it?"
"Now ask me a new question. Preferably one that isn't bread-related."
"I'd compute a 3 million digit prime number with prime roots if I thought it would make you happy!"
"The way the light catches the angles in your head - it's enchanting!"
"Listen, I know this is going to sound like a corny line, but has anyone ever told you that the configuration and juxtaposition of your features is extraordinarily apposite?"
"You taught him that? That's terrific! You two should audition for What's My Fruit?!"
"What's this?" "It's a - it's a - small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden!"
"The very worst that can happen is that you'll have the spend the rest of your life as a mindless, gibbering vegetable. But if the rest of your life is only 30 seconds, what the hell!"
"Chameleonic lifeforms? NO THANKS!"
"The Rimmer Directive, which states: 'Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth than the entire Osmond family.'"
"I compared your mother to a foolish, aging, blubbery fish! I said she was a simple-minded, scaly old piscine! A putrid amphibious gill-breather with less brains than a mollusk!"
"Don't you care about anyone but yourself?" CAT: "Hell no, I don't even care about you!"
"You're a sad weasel of a man, you know that?"
"Look what he's done to my cuticles. The man is a maniac!"
"I do NOT do the W-word! Cats do NOT work!"
"Look at me, I'm disgusting! I look like you in your best clothes!"
"My father was a jelly brain?" "Yes: that's why he ate his own feet!" "I did wonder."
"I don't care! You're the one who's dying; why should I let it spoil my evening?"
"It is staring you in your fat, ferrety face!"
"He was tired." "What was it, metal fatigue?"
"Permission to snigger." "Permission refused." "May have to snigger anyway, sir."
"Time is the great healer. Unless you've got a rash, in which case you'd better use ointment."
"Such low-life conniving - it's impossible not to be impressed! What I wouldn't give to have your weasel genes, sir!"
"Harness your stupidity, sir! Employ your witlessness! Use your empty-headed, simplistic moron-mind and find a solution!"
"He's got the power of ignorance." "And with the ignorance he's got, that makes him one of the most powerful men who's ever lived!"
"So you're saying when you don't know enough to know that you don't know enough, there's no fear holding you back! You can achieve things which people with more brains can't!"
"I'm thinking wearing leather underpants with studs is a real mistake if you put them on inside-out."
"What am I gonna do with 58 minutes' more life?" "Have half a juggling lesson?"
"I did everything with that arm! We were inseparable! At least I thought we were."
"David, come on, you got a virus, it's fatal, it happens!"
"The only bonding I want to do with him involves a tube of superglue and a rabid hamster."
"It's sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that've been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice, and shoved into someone's eye!"
"The red, green, and blue alerts are all flashing! What does that mean?" "Either we're under attack, sir, or we're having a disco!"
"Sometimes you just gotta say: 'The laws of time and space - who gives a smeg?'"
"I'm no psychologist, but maybe the bleak, lonely, pointless emptiness of our hopeless, futile predicament is beginning to get to him."
"We've got less choice than a Welsh fish-and-chips shop."
"He's looking so geeky I don't think he could even get into a science fiction convention."
"Oh, for a really world-class psychiatrist!"
"The poor devil must've scrawled it in his death throes using a combination of his own blood and even his own intestines!" "Who would do that?" "Someone who badly needed a pen."
"I think our friend the suicide squid is about to make an appearance."
"Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat, this is not a daffodil!"
"Obviously whatever he has in mind will be facilitated by my being slippery and pliant."
"I wouldn't trust you to open a can of sardines that was already open."
"I'd just like to say that over the years, I've come to regard you as people I met."
"Well, Sartre, we don't like existentialists around here. And we certainly don't like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo-necks, filling everyone's heads with their theories about the bleakness of existence and the absurdity of the cosmos! Clear?"
"Rasputin! Bring hither the skin-diving suit with the bottom cut out, and unleash the rampant wildebeest!"
"A question that will tax your new IQ to its very limits and stretch the sinews of your knowledge to bursting-point!" "This is going to be about waffles, isn't it?"
"Now ask me a new question. Preferably one that isn't bread-related."
"I'd compute a 3 million digit prime number with prime roots if I thought it would make you happy!"
"The way the light catches the angles in your head - it's enchanting!"
"Listen, I know this is going to sound like a corny line, but has anyone ever told you that the configuration and juxtaposition of your features is extraordinarily apposite?"
"You taught him that? That's terrific! You two should audition for What's My Fruit?!"
"What's this?" "It's a - it's a - small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden!"
"The very worst that can happen is that you'll have the spend the rest of your life as a mindless, gibbering vegetable. But if the rest of your life is only 30 seconds, what the hell!"
"Chameleonic lifeforms? NO THANKS!"
"The Rimmer Directive, which states: 'Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth than the entire Osmond family.'"
"I compared your mother to a foolish, aging, blubbery fish! I said she was a simple-minded, scaly old piscine! A putrid amphibious gill-breather with less brains than a mollusk!"
"Don't you care about anyone but yourself?" CAT: "Hell no, I don't even care about you!"
"You're a sad weasel of a man, you know that?"
"Look what he's done to my cuticles. The man is a maniac!"
"I do NOT do the W-word! Cats do NOT work!"
"Look at me, I'm disgusting! I look like you in your best clothes!"
"My father was a jelly brain?" "Yes: that's why he ate his own feet!" "I did wonder."
"I don't care! You're the one who's dying; why should I let it spoil my evening?"