The seeds of fuckboyery

5-YEAR-OLD BOY: I want one of the girls to swing with me but they only want to swing with each other!
OTHER 5-YEAR-OLD BOY: They never want to swing with me either!
5YOB: It's not fair if they only swing with each other! And they also don't want to play with us hardly ever! They almost only play together! It's not faaaiiiiir!
ME: No, that isn't unfair. They get to decide what they want to do. Everyone gets to decide who they want to play with, and that is fair.
5YOB: Yes it is unfair and I can prove it! Because I also want to to share a tire swing with them, but they won't let me!
ME: You can have a turn on the swing, but if they want to leave they don't have to play with you...
5YOB: Look, one of you swing with me now because there aren't any free swings! One of you pick. No? Okay then I'll pick... like... um... Girl A!
ME: No, they get to decide themselves what they want to do. Girls, you can stay here and swing with 5YOB or you can pick up your toys from the sandbox.
BOTH GIRLS: WE WANT TO CLEAN UP TOGETHER!
5YOB: UNFAIR!!!!
ME: It isn't unfair. Enough.