cimorene

squirrelmir ended up having to read stories to this indian man's wife. no children in the science library, but she was bored and she scared him.

her: you are a LIBRARIAN, are you not?
squirrelmir: no! i'm a--
gandalf: a-HEM.
squirrelmir: i mean, yes, i'm a-- *looks at gandalf*
cim: *taps foot*
squirrelmir: a... periodicals... desk... *mumbles* librarian

the lady: good. well, if you're a librarian, then, read me this.
squirrelmir: the journal of inveterately ridiculous lagomorph taxonomy?
lady: is there some kind of PROBLEM?
lady: *removes nail file from purse, files nails to points*
squirrelmir: *clears throat* when speaking of the taxonomy of ridiculous lagomorphs, it should always be first noted, a priori, that this study is a relatively new field of endeavor born on the fringes of the hyper-realitative taxonomic movement.
gandalf: *laughs*
balrog: *collapses laughing and accidentally incinerates a shelf*
cim: hey, that was one fourth of their entire periodical collection!
balrog: fap;odj;falsjdfa;s?!
cim: i know it wasn't a big shelf; what can i say, this university sucks.
balrog: *snickers* *incinerates another shelf*
frodo: how long do you think it will take for a librarian to come investigate the smell of smoke?
cim: don't worry, they're painting each other's toenails in the back room over there.
gandalf: ahh, good then. come here, my little snootchie-gootchums.
balrog and gandalf: *make out*
the lady: are you going to go on?
squirrelmir: *frightened* lagomorphs are not, of course, inherently ridiculous, but the editors of this journal consider it appropriately named apropo of the somewhat less-than-serious nature of taxonomically classifying nonexistent rodentia according to any hierarchy, let alone that of the insubstantive literary "plot."
cim: *hastily* that's enough.
sam: *wakes up* is it over?
squirrelmir: i'm pretty sure, but since i don't know what it was about...
frodo: *with superiority* plot bunnies are not inherently ridiculous.
gandalf: *nibbling on balrog's ear* this guy is full of shit.
the lady: i'm starting to get bored again.
cim: *tosses squirrelmir the Comptes Rendus de l'Academie Frances d'la Really Large Turtles Which Never Move, vol. 123 no. 3-4*
gandalf: entertain the nice lady with this, eh, squirrelmir? we'll be back in four hours.
squirrelmir: but i don't know FRENCH!!!
lady: eh bien.