the room dwellers (neé dorm dwellers) visit the library

[cimorene]

squirrelmir ended up having to read stories to this indian man's wife. no children in the science library, but she was bored and she scared him.

her: you are a LIBRARIAN, are you not?
squirrelmir: no! i'm a--
gandalf: a-HEM.
squirrelmir: i mean, yes, i'm a-- *looks at gandalf*
cim: *taps foot*
squirrelmir: a... periodicals... desk... *mumbles* librarian

the lady: good. well, if you're a librarian, then, read me this.
squirrelmir: the journal of inveterately ridiculous lagomorph taxonomy?
lady: is there some kind of PROBLEM?
lady: *removes nail file from purse, files nails to points*
squirrelmir: *clears throat* when speaking of the taxonomy of ridiculous lagomorphs, it should always be first noted, a priori, that this study is a relatively new field of endeavor born on the fringes of the hyper-realitative taxonomic movement.
gandalf: *laughs*
balrog: *collapses laughing and accidentally incinerates a shelf*
cim: hey, that was one fourth of their entire periodical collection!
balrog: fap;odj;falsjdfa;s?!
cim: i know it wasn't a big shelf; what can i say, this university sucks.
balrog: *snickers* *incinerates another shelf*
frodo: how long do you think it will take for a librarian to come investigate the smell of smoke?
cim: don't worry, they're painting each other's toenails in the back room over there.
gandalf: ahh, good then. come here, my little snootchie-gootchums.
balrog and gandalf: *make out*
the lady: are you going to go on?
squirrelmir: *frightened* lagomorphs are not, of course, inherently ridiculous, but the editors of this journal consider it appropriately named apropo of the somewhat less-than-serious nature of taxonomically classifying nonexistent rodentia according to any hierarchy, let alone that of the insubstantive literary "plot."
cim: *hastily* that's enough.
sam: *wakes up* is it over?
squirrelmir: i'm pretty sure, but since i don't know what it was about...
frodo: *with superiority* plot bunnies are not inherently ridiculous.
gandalf: *nibbling on balrog's ear* this guy is full of shit.
the lady: i'm starting to get bored again.
cim: *tosses squirrelmir the Comptes Rendus de l'Academie Frances d'la Really Large Turtles Which Never Move, vol. 123 no. 3-4*
gandalf: entertain the nice lady with this, eh, squirrelmir? we'll be back in four hours.
squirrelmir: but i don't know FRENCH!!!
lady: eh bien.

Comments

fuck you.

[(Anonymous)]

shut up. all you ever do is complain.

Re: fuck you.

[carraway54.livejournal.com]

No, fuck you. I like cim.

Re: fuck you.

[kwirbx.livejournal.com]

Okay, not to sound rude or anything mr./mrs. brave anonymous but um...i don't think that was called for. I've got nothing against swearing, nothing against speaking your mind, and usually i don't give a damn about people like you. This, however, is a special case. You were just kidding right? cim is sort of...um...did i mention this was a special case? If i find out otherwise and who you really are, i will do my best to fuck you up. (in a nonthreating, nonbodily harm, mostly more talk, but manly way) And yeah, this is sorta late but i didn't read it till, like, now cause it looked like it involved inside jokes and such. I mean, who want's to feel left out?

Re: fuck you.

[kwirbx.livejournal.com]

And another thing! I'm so fucken pissed off at you mr./mrs. anonymous! Not only is "anonymous" difficult for me to spell (as a lot of wors are) but by me saying this is probably not going to get you to apologize to her!!!!!!!! ::note to self "think before you do something":: So technically i hate myself? whatever.

warning:
the following is a vent of frustration.
Hormones you know. Lack of kwirbagin causes this.
Do not take this as a threat to your well being as i don't even know you and probably would never say this to you in real life --->

I wish i just happend to be around cim when you said that. you know, in real life. Cause then i would probably honestly just asked you nicely the first time to take it back. Then if you refused (lets just say that you did) I would then procede to fuck you up. They would have to like, fucking call the police to get me off of you.

end.

so anyway, don't take offence. Just keep away.

Re: fuck you.

[kwirbx.livejournal.com]

*still seething with adrenaline*

Re: fuck you.

[hollsh.livejournal.com]

No dear, fuck you in the ass with a hot curling iron!

If you have an attitude problem and you want to vent it, I seriously suggest you dont do it at Cim!

I'm a mean motherfucker who happens to love Cim VERY much and it really irks me when people show disrespect to those I love.

This is Cim's journal, she can post whatever she wants. If you dont like it Captain Cocksmoking Anonymous Asshole, you can go hump a dead porcupine in a pool of salt.