badfic in 1 minute

[cimorene]

cim: So, I read a badfic where Jon Stewart is really upset that his baseball team loses, so he locks himself in his room and his wife calls Stephen Colbert to fix the emergency. Stephen picks the lock and goes in there and cuddles him until he is ready to apologise for being a dick, and then his wife comes in and they all three sit on the bed, and then Stephen tries to go and Jon is like NOOOES I AM STILL SAD, so Stephen cuddles him from the other side and they both kiss his hair and Jon sighs happily, TEH END.
cim: WHAT THE FUCK.
lilah: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
cim: LOLOL, BUT SRSLY, WTF?
lilah: I DON'T KNOW
cim: I don't know whether to boggle my eyes out or throw up a little bit in my mouth!
lilah: SRSLY.
cim: WHERE TO START WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
lilah: 1. Jon =/= 5 yr old kid
cim: 2. polyamory yay?
lilah: 3. wife calls stephen
cim: LOL
lilah: 4. CUDDLING
cim: 5. STEPHEN KNOWS HOW TO PICK LOCKS.
cim: 6. platonic hair-kissing
lilah: 7. THREE-WAY CUDDLING
cim: öklasjdöfkljasd (lock picking note: he's like, Gimme a coathanger, and Jon's wife is like, lolwtf, and he's like, Ta-da! and she's like, omg u got skillz! and he's like, lol inorite just a little trick i lernd in collij)
lilah: threeway platonic hair kissing should be a genre in its own right y/y?
cim: -klvjfpåqklofe ok Y
lilah: LOL COAT HANGER

Comments

[hollsh.livejournal.com]

...holy shit, I'm a sports fan, but I've never needed three way cuddling to ease my pain after a loss. Any real sports fan has a drink and is pissy for a few days.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

All your best friends live far away, so it's just as well.

And no offense, but If you really need a hug, it's a little less creepy without the three-way-in-bed aspect...

[hollsh.livejournal.com]

yeah, I think it would be a gigantic pain in the ass to call you or Nicki over to console me in bed with Chris because of a game. Oh shit, that really WOULD be creepy!!

No creepy hugs for me please. I'll stick to nice single person kitchen hugs or something. <3 Unless it's the kids, then a multiple hug is cute.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

Once one of us wins the lottery and it's a genuine issue, we'll have conversations like this.

"Cim? Sorry to wake you up, were you sleeping? It's Holls."
"Oh, no problem! I was walking the dog! What's the matter?"
"Well, I tried to call Nicki to come over first since I thought she'd be awake, but it went to voicemail, so... if I buy you some tickets, can you come cuddle me?"
"Shit! Did the Leafs lose the playoffs?"
"Y... yes."
"Oh, honey! I'm so sorry! But you know, this cuddling has to be strictly two-way."
"Are you sure? I mean I really just thought that since it's the playoffs..."
"No, I'm afraid I can come, but only if the cuddling stays in the kitchen."
"Well... let me try Nicki again. I'll call you back."

[hollsh.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha!!!! XD

Would couch cuddling be acceptable?

[cimness.livejournal.com]

absolutely!

[hollsh.livejournal.com]

Whee!!