that skeevy guy

[cimorene]

Here's a really good post from synecdochic about How Not To Be That Guy that brings together male priviledge and creepiness and stuff in the wake of that Open Source Boob business.

It coalesces some things that I've never been able to quite put into words. Thinking about this now, I'm really kind of angry. You know how if someone (some GUY) is creeping you out, you nonetheless end up feeling guilty for being creeped out if you can tell they don't realise they're being rude (whereas they doubtless feel no guilt at all for being creepy, and probably don't even bother to notice your signals of discomfort)? I can't believe that I've literally never noticed before that that's just another manipulative aspect of fucking male priviledge.

Comments

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

WORD.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I've managed to always feel till now that it's my responsibility to have a GOOD REASON to want someone to back off, and if they're a Nice Guy and all they want to do is act like a pushy stalker, I'm somehow mean to want them out of my space. Why is that the woman's responsibility? Why should we have a moral obligation to be "nice" to any guy who we don't have proof is dangerous or deliberately a jerk? What's wrong with just not wanting to be bothered by someone, or not liking them, whether they skeeve you out or not?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Don't you know that men have every right to pursue you with every passive-aggressive means at their disposal, then brand you as cold and heartless when you fail to respond?

If you respond negatively, on the other hand, you are emotionally abusive.