the sanctity of my sandwich has been violated

[cimorene]

Since I discovered the giant size of the danishes, cinnamon rolls and other pastries sold at Café Brahe, it's become my new favourite place. Not to mention it's on Universitetsgatan with a shaded terrace, which is a more convenient downtown location than Robert's Coffee (although that's still convenient if you're going to the movies of course).

Anyway, so today Wax and I had a couple of errands to discharge and we stopped for some juice and pastry there, and unwisely also ordered a tomato and mozzarella sandwich. "Unwisely?" you ask. "How could purchasing something as universally scrumptious as the combination of tomato and mozzarella be unwise?"

Well, I'll tell you.

On a baguette lies a row of tomatoes and a row of mozzarella slices with whole leaves of fresh basil, drizzled with just enough pine nut pesto. And horseradish. And mayonnaise.

Yes. Horseradish and mayonnaise.

Why, for the love of red shoes, why?

Who the hell looks at a perfectly sublime, already-scrumptious pile of mozzarella, tomatoes, basil, and pesto, and goes, "Oh, what this needs is some MAYO and HORSERADISH." And for that matter, how the hell did they manage to miss the fact that the sandwich is essentially Italian food? And already fitted with an appropriately Italian condiment (PESTO), and thus not in need of any revolting, dairy-containing, white-bread slathering WASP condiments like mayo?

I don't even know how to mock the choice of horseradish - I'm not even aware of any legitimate uses for it off the Passover table, where it is used because it's the most bitter, digusting food imaginable and thus thought to be appropriate to represent the bitterness of slavery. ("Oh, yes! What this lovely Italian sandwich needs is some of the bitter savour of slavery!")

Comments

[jennaria.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yes! What this lovely Italian sandwich needs is some of the bitter savour of slavery!"

:snerks: :narrowly avoids bursting out laughing in the middle of the library:

[cimness.livejournal.com]

At least it makes the sandwich sound important and noble, and not merely incompetently-made.

[bluesbell.livejournal.com]

I don't even eat mozzarella anymore, but that's just wrong!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

Inorite! Mozzarella and MAYO! When the cheese is already creamy and white and should have the soft white dairy products food group firmly covered, providing you feel obligated to include some on every sandwich.