cimorene | How To Read Dean/Castiel for People Who Aren't Up on SPN Canon and Don't Want to Be

or: I Read Shipper Essays So You Don't Have To

This is what it says on the tin: an introduction/guide to getting into reading this pairing for people who aren't familiar (or up to date) with Supernatural canon.

I started wishing a while ago that someone would write something like this to make it easier for me to read because I was interested in dipping a toe in. I am nothing if not a voracious fannish omnivore - I read widely, and have frequently gotten into reading and shipping without any prior knowledge of the canon. That's more problematic in some cases than others, though. It depends on the canon (how complex? how long?) and the story (how canon-dependent? how much context does it provide? how many episode tags are there?). This pairing isn't the easiest to dive into headfirst, though. A little background explanation is probably necessary. (You can usually find information of this kind at

crack_van and

ship_manifesto - that was where I started looking.)

I. For the Hypothetical Person Who Hasn't Even Heard of Supernatural

It's an adventure-horror modern fantasy tv show about two brothers who drive around the country hunting ghosts, witches, and demons and exorcising them. Supernatural is more or less set in the world of folklore. It played out just about every urban legend, well-known ghost story, and horror cliché in the early seasons, increasingly building on the medieval European Christian folklore: iron and salt superstitions, bargains with the devil and the means to outwit him, witches going for nudity and newts' eyes... it's the world of that song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" which, shut up, is totally a great song.

II. For the Person Who Knows About SPN Through Fannish Osmosis But Doesn't Watch It

Dean (Jensen Ackles, a green-eyed freckle-faced All-American Boy type who looks like a football hick and once played some hot guy on a show with Jessica Alba) is the older brother of Sam (Jared Padalecki, who apparently was on, like, Gilmore Girls or something one time, and is like 7 feet tall). Dean is a foul-mouthed wisecracker who loves his muscle car - a Chevy Impala - and Metallica. Sam went to Stanford and loved and lost, or possibly killed his girlfriend by mistake and also, his mother when he was a kid. Sam is usually given the exposition dialogue in the fanfiction because he has book learnins, but they both tend to go undercover like for example, as two insurance salesmen or two priests or whatever, when they're investigating the latest siren/harpy/organ harvesting/haunted asylum/etc. They both fight hand-to-hand and with guns loaded with silver and salt, amulets, protective tattoos, special blessed daggers, Latin for spells and exorcisms, etc.

Their job (they're HUNTERS, and they know some other ones, who are sometimes not trustworthy. To make money, they grift and swindle) was passed down to them by their father, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who raised them on the road and taught them everything they know while not offering enough love, in spite/because of the way Sam might have burned their mother to death when he was a baby in his crib because he has special demonic powers. He can have psychic visions, and can exorcise the demon-possessed with his mind, but maybe not all the time. Their dad, Jeffrey Dean Morgan/John Winchester, was missing for most of the early series and came back for some reason recurringly, only to later die again trying to save/protect them. He's out of the picture now.

III. For the Person Who Isn't Clear on Recent Events Pertaining to Castiel, Trenchcoaty Angel of the Lord

Basically, it was something like this. When Dean was a baby, and Sam maybe wasn't born yet, his dad died.

DEAN'S MOM: I know that my husband believes in nothing so much as fighting evil, but I love him so much that I'd like to make a deal with a demon to bring him back to life. Luckily, I have all this demon lore lying around the house.
DEMON: OK, you can have your dude back, but then you have to die a year later, or possibly a few years later, in exchange. Or else, instead of dying, I might stick some demon-mojo in there when you have a baby so that your child will actually be the Anti-Christ reborn, or maybe not exactly the Anti-Christ, just a kinda half-demon avatar with like a baby demon inside. Like split personality. Possibly I'm just allowed to do that via a loophole in the bargain and you don't know about it.
DEAN'S MOM: Cool.

A few years later, Sam is born. Then a little while later, his mom levitates to the ceiling and burns up screaming. And from that day on, the brothers were as close as only two brothers isolated from all other socialisation and raised by a somewhat crazy, emotionally-wounded roadtripping vigilante grifter can be. So fast forward. John Winchester reappears, saves everyone, possibly averting some kind of apocalypse - I don't know, I've just heard that it was imminent more than once on the show - and dies.

SAM: *dies*
DEAN: I will make a deal with some demon to bring Sam back to life.
DEMON: OK, he lives, but after one year I get your soul, just like in the folktales.
DEAN: Whatevs.
SAM: OK, let's research this!

One year later...
SAM: OK, I guess the research didn't exactly work. Oops.
DEMON: Let's go, Dean!

Meanwhile, in Hell...
ALASTAIR: I'm the head torturer down here, and it will be my pleasure to devote all my time to physically torturing you, because you're more important than the billions of other souls down here.
DEAN: Your name is Alastair?
ALASTAIR: Laugh it up. Oh hey, but if you'd rather, you can take over from me and torture these other guys.
DEAN: Seriously, shouldn't it at least be harder to pronounce, if not kind of scary-sounding?

Thirty years later...
ALASTAIR: How about today, Dean? Would you prefer to be unchained and torture some other peeps?
DEAN: This IS getting kind of boring. OK, sure.

Meanwhile, back on Earth it's only been three months...
[SAM is now roadtripping with a demon, RUBY, who's possessing the body of a hot girl. They're trying to get Dean back, supposedly, but mostly they're having a lot of sex. RUBY might or might not be evil, SAM might or might not be evil. They're definitely refining SAM's demon powers to exorcise other demons with his mind.]

Ten years later in hell - or one month later on earth...
CASTIEL: Sup, bitches?
ALASTAIR: The big guy sent an unshaven male model to rescue Dean?
CASTIEL: *divine retributes the fuck out of Alastair and grabs Dean*
DEAN: Nice timing. Have you heard that I'm evil now?
CASTIEL: *shines the Holy Light into Dean until he's un-evil again* It's really gross down here and you're coming with me now.

Dean's grave or somewhere
DEAN: How am I alive?
CASTIEL: *mighty angelic sfx* Because I'm -
DEAN: AUGH!
CASTIEL: *stops shining the Holy Light into Dean* Oh, sorry. I guess you're not ready for my ~~symbolic cock~~ awesomeness ~~yet~~. Because I'm an angel, and I miracled you out of there.
DEAN: Why?
CASTIEL: I thought we'd engage in a lot of eye-fucking and I'd provide an outlet for aggression by slamming you into walls, also playing the deus ex machina when you fight forces too big for you to handle. Then we will stop the Apocalypse because you're a prophet or God's Chosen Slayer or something like that.
DEAN: Will you also be providing miraculous healing? Or reinforcements? That could be handy.
CASTIEL: Maybe. I know this other angel, Uriel, but he's an asshole, and he's racist against humans. And he doesn't like your sweet, human ass as much as I do, but we might have to call him.
DEAN: What about talking like a Terminator and/or Data and/or Spock and providing weak 'oh humanity' humour?
CASTIEL: Obviously. Unconvincing looks at humanity from the outside will never not be funny, Dean.
DEAN: OK, well what about fixing my woobie self-esteem issues?
CASTIEL: No one can fix those, Dean. Without them, the plot would have no internal conflict to drive it, and the fanfiction would have less excuse for h/c. However, I'll try earnestly to convince you of how worthy you are.
DEAN: With your cock?
CASTIEL: Well, yes. In fanon. But in canon, I'll just use words.
DEAN: What about soul-bonding?
CASTIEL: Well, it's funny you should ask that, Dean, because... *pats Dean's shoulder*
DEAN: FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? *he peels off the neck of his shirt to reveal a big red handprint burned onto his shoulder*
CASTIEL: That's our soul bond, Dean! Obviously, when I pulled you out of Hell, I had to hold onto you somewhere. By the soul, because your body wasn't actually there. With my soul, because I don't actually have a body. Well, except for this unshaven devoutly religious male model, but he was just some threads I picked up on the way back. Anyway, so, because Hell is like, hard and stuff, I had to kinda squeeze to keep from letting go, and well, my soul kinda burned you because that's just how manly I am - so manly that when I touch your soul, it shows up on your body!
DEAN: Is it normal for guardian angels to angelically tattoo their name on your ass?
CASTIEL: I thought 'ass' meant the gluteus maximus -
DEAN: That was a figure of speech. I guess you angels aren't too good at those. So, this handprint is basically the SPN equivalent of canon telepathic soul-bonding sex?
CASTIEL: Isn't it interesting that, instead of locating the soul as usual in the anal passage above the prostate, SPN's writers have chosen to put it on the shoulder?
DEAN: Well, my arms are pretty buff. I guess they wanted a nice image.

IV. Other Stuff That's Good to Know

Bobby is another hunter. He's an older guy and a kind of avuncular figure to Dean and Sam. He also helps them out by providing research and exposition on demand or answering the phone and filling in their cover story when they give out fake references and stuff.

Meg was a girl that Dean liked until she got possessed by a demon and/or evil and Dean killed her.

Their mom's name is Mary.

One time Castiel sent Dean back in time to watch the drama with baby!him/his Mom's deal with the demon, but he didn't have the power to change anything. That sucked.

Uriel is apparently Castiel's underling in the angel hierarchy and he REALLY hates humans. He died recently and apparently Castiel was mad about that.

Lilith is a demon, or possibly just Adam's first wife I guess but she's definitely evil, who is trying to free Lucifer from Hell by breaking magical seals.

One time when he was mad, Castiel told Dean that he pulled him out of Hell and he could send him back, or something like that. Fanon is divided on whether he really meant it or not.

In the Meta Ep of Doom, there was some guy who had written an entire series of SPN novels covering the entire history of the show and it was really meta. Sam showed Dean the Wincest fanfic online and Dean said "That's sick".

There was this fallen angel named Anna who had become a human and she had sex with Dean before being turned back into an angel. She used to know Castiel in Heaven. Also, Castiel watched her and Dean kissing with some kind of expression on his face which fanon seems inclined to interpret as "jealousy" (wonder why?).

V. Recs

Section A: Castiel vs. Humanity!

Lessons by wheefic. A humour/crack pwp about Castiel's struggle to get used to the new body. Dean has to show him showering, tooth-brushing, shaving... and also gay sex of course. Very short.

See the World in Green and Blue by parenthetical. Not crack, but still a kind of feel-good piece where Castiel decides he needs to learn to understand humans better, so he takes a break from his powers and shadows the Winchesters for a day. Which predictably leads to getting drunk and having sex, but I love a good cliché.

When We're Both Lost by skidmo_fic. PWP(ish), but not without a bit of characterisation and explanation. The inevitable one where Castiel asks Dean to fuck him because he's curious what sex feels like.

Number Five is Alive by uschickens. Humour, short. The one where Castiel wakes up human for real and has to learn the ropes, like for example pancakes and chili fries and The View. Lots of good one-liners.

Nestfallen verse by not_refined. 5 short stories about Castiel's difficulty with dealing with his human body: he's not washing his coat, he's never eaten; Dean introduces him to hot chocolate and finds him standing in the street, where people think he's a homeless bum. Ends on a tense, uncomfortable sort of unrequited note, though.

Section B: Angelic Love, Now in Special Porny Version

What You Need by xela_fic. In which Castiel has human desires, and luckily, what Dean turns out to be most in need of is angelic cock. Not really a PWP, but mostly.

There's a Design by Dira Sudis. In which Castiel is super determined to give Dean a mercy fuck because he needs it. This is the coolest story I've read in the fandom, I think. I love the original bits, the combination of human desire and kinda super-human motivations that is pretty much necessary to not be silly when the setting for the universe is on the way to apocalypse.

Fall into Ash by entangled_now. NC-17, well-written and full of Dean's angst (nightmares about Hell, aforementioned doubts of self-worth), and also kind of creepy, which is cool. I love the way Castiel is so calmly passive at first, especially compared to the way he responds later. "I don't know what you're doing, I don't know what you want." "It's not about what I want," Castiel says smoothly. "It's about what you want."

Section C: Falling and the Forbidden

I Love the Bones of You by fleshflutter. There's a road trip and some beautifully tense UST in this one. Gory, though not graphic.

A Rain of Feathers and A Single Feather by Lacey McBain. NC-17. This is SEX POLLEN WINGPORN. I kind of can't believe it exists, but this is fandom, after all. Anyway, it's actually got a plot and is really well-written, not just a PWP. The consequences all come down in the sequel - Dean angsting grimly, Castiel pulling back because of duty.

Obviously, there are a lot of stories where Castiel falls because he chooses to save Dean, or to have sex with him, or whatever. But um... mostly I don't like them, mainly because I kind of hate that trope, so this section is thinner than its status in fanon would dictate. Just so you know.

There are more bookmarks in my delicious: http://delicious.com/cimness/dean%2Fcastiel