hilarious kinkmeme prompts of the day

[cimorene]

1. WWII AU: I'll give some leeway here, but I'd REALLY like Adam to be a jew trying to escape/survive Nazi Germany and Tommy is either hesitantly sympathetic or actually involved with the Nazi party in some way



2. a h/w fic based on avril lavigne's "fall to pieces"...holmes' pov, talking to watson about his feelings using phrases from lyrics.



3. at the battel of rackenbach falls, right before moritarty goes off the edge, he says to holmes, "wait i must tell you..." "what?" holmes says. "dumbledore dies at the end of book six!!" and then jumps off the cliff. how dose holmes deal with this crushing revelation? by running away. how dose he explain to watson? through gay sex.



4. i ould love for holmes or watson (or both) to be incredibly turned on by the THOUGHT of Holmes becomming pregnant with watsons baby- kinda like dirty talk and both thinking it's hot that absolutely everyone would know that watson was dom and all that goodness



5. Part F1 In previous years, Sherlock was in a relationship with a man. Said man wasn't very nice. When Lestrade called on Sherlock, he would show up with a black eye sometimes, or be limping, and look upset. But he would get the job done. When Sherlock comes in with broken ribs, and a bruised face, and a limp (possibly from rape) Lestrade really notices, and questions him about it. He figures out that Sherlock is being abused by his boyfriend, and gets him out of the relationship. Sherlock refuses to date again, untill he meets John. John want's to go out with Sherlock, and asks Lestrade for help, since he's known Sherlock for a while. Lestrade sits John down and gives him the "Break him, and i will murder you" talk. John doesn't know, but Lestrade is protecting Sherlock from a repeat of his old boyfriend.

Comments

[mecurtin]

brb weeping for humanity

[cimorene]

BBC Sherlock would probably be like, "Who?" (because, even though he's also written as familiar with all internet memes and traditions, so he should know, BBC Sherlock loves nothing more than stupid internal inconsistency for the sake of a cheap laugh). Whereas canon Holmes, thanks to his encyclopedic knowledge of sensational literature, would have speed-read the book already, probably within a few weeks of its coming out, depending on his case load at the time.

[magnetic_pole]

So true!

Most of the time I read these headers and think that the world is a varied and beautiful place. This time I quailed a bit. M.

[cimorene]

Aw, no, you just need to gird your loins a bit more. It is a varied and beautiful place! It's just a varied and beautiful place with some very strange kinks that interact when in proximity to each other. And also a place with not quite enough correct punctuation and spelling to go around.

[dana_kujan]

How... how... can my fandom contain so much FAIL all in one place? ::dabs single crystalline tear with antique lace hanky::

As for #1, that will turn out well. No romanticized Nazis or anti-semitism potential there. Nope. I can't wait to read the wank it.

[basingstoke]

Someone wrote #5. Also the reverse, with Lestrade being abused. I don't know why.

[cimorene]

I know! I keep seeing the headers. Actually, I think I saw the one with Lestrade being abused as well.

[phosfate]

Yeah, there's a thread of that in the fandom that really, really creeps me out. Or enrages me. Maybe both.

[cimorene]

I think it enrages me nowadays. When I first encountered domestic abuse fanons, as a poor innocent teenie entering the wilds of Due South, I was definitely more creeped out, but nowadays I feel the urge to smash. (Or lecture.)

[phosfate]

I don't have the strength to lecture ATM, so instead, I just pray that the author will fall down a flight of stairs and receive a magical enlightening brain injury, like Harrison Ford.

[cimorene]

I don't think I do either. I just sort of dimly WANT to lecture, but I don't have the patience to put together a whole argument. If I tried, it would probably come out as a string of lolcats. On the whole I think your method sounds more healthy. *steals this idea*

[phosfate]

I also can't help but think that if Donovan turned up with a black eye and busted cheekbone, nobody would give a shit. Or they'd think she deserved it.

[cimorene]

IDK, she's a woman, so she might get some pious "should have known better" with a dash of "it's terrible" thrown in? But if they found out that Donovan liked to beat up Anderson, it would be nothing but joy. I bet a prompt of that would engender a spontaneous party on the kinkmeme.

[phosfate]

Donovan is black, female, and (not unreasonably) thinks Sherlock has a strong potential for going completely wack-a-ding-hoy-Dexter, so fandom's got her in the TEAM DISPOSABLE BITCH jersey.

(I have a kneejerk loathing of Anderson, but it's mainly because he looks like David Brenner.)

[brownbetty]

I can only believe that someone is taking the piss with no. 3.

[cimorene]

I put the likelihood around 50/50, maybe 60/40.

[onceamy]

I'm a bit horrified that I recognised number 5. Damn it, that sort of badfic is unforgettable!

[phosfate]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.