homophobic granny

[cimorene]

So on Christmas Eve when the adults were sitting around handing out presents, Wax's mom announced that she'd gotten a bizarre, ridiculous, and rather offensive Christmas card for ~the family~ from Wax's homophobic granny who hates me. We were like "O RLY?" "What's it like?" "How bad is it?" and she just made us so curious that we finally demanded she take it out and let us see. So the card said,

Merry Christmas to

Wax's mom and all her children and grandchildren, plus her sons' wives.

Faces:

:O :O :O :O :O :O

Comments:

"Dude."

"Wow."

"That's pretty bad."

"Yep, that is offensive."

"Damn."

Bitch is 90, but she can still bring it!

Comments

[ilyena_sylph]

*hugs you*

Mine persists in referring to her niece's wife as "her friend".

It just...

I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap, too. I'm sorry anyone does.

[cimorene]

LOL, don't feel bad for me! My feelings are not wounded or anything, and she doesn't make things too awkward in person. She just doesn't speak to me at all but she still is forced to invite me to her house (by Wax's favorite aunt's efforts XD) so I get the advantages of her delicious homemade food anyway. At least, I guess it was awkward at first but I'm over it now. You could feel sorry for Wax I guess, though. For a while she kept trying to hit Wax with Pointed Comments in person, but she seems to have maybe given up on that now. She might have noticed that NO ONE can out-stubborn Wax.

[buddleia]

Dude. DUDE. I mean, shitty and hurtful, but almost artistic in its careful crafted shitty hurtfulness.

I guess she gets bored.

[phosfate]

INORITE? It's like, if you're gonna be Bitch Troll DoucheHag from Hell, be the absolute BEST Bitch Troll DoucheHag from Hell that you can be.

[cimorene]

:D Exactly. I'm actually kind of impressed! You could've read that in Austen or something.

[phosfate]

*dies*

[cimorene]

If only it were traditional to send thank-you notes for Christmas gifts, we could send her one thanking her for the lovely card and all the laughs it brought us.

[cimorene]

LOL at the idea of this being her hobby! She doesn't knit, so...?

[viggorlijah]

I know you're both above pettiness but oh how lovely to be viciously thoughtful and kind to her, bringing her cards and the such signed only by you and given in front of her neighbours so they require a reply by mandatory etiquette. Perhaps she'd get stuck in some kind of logic loop and implode?

[cimorene]

LOL if I could swing that it would be AWESOME. I do go to that town more than Wax does for my classes and her house is totally in walking distance, but I'm afraid I've never met her neighbors. :)

Wax's fav aunt is her only daughter and she has arm-twisted her into letting me into her house so we go there for family brunch every time fav aunt is in town and it's hilarious the way she doesn't speak to me at all even when directly addressed. I guess that's raised her ire again perhaps because last summer she actually addressed a sentence to me one time? I guess this card was like the only way she could let off steam, hahaha.

[cimorene]

ALTHOUGH my current plan is that we are going to take the Official Wedding Portrait, albeit late, with both of us in variations of suit/waistcoat/tie stuff, and give her one, which will at least make her squirm about displaying it. XD

[phosfate]

Oh, God, 16x20 at least. Framed and ready to hang.

[cimorene]

I'm totally taking the frame idea. HAHAHHhahahaha.