defensive rant, anti-south, pro-best friend. back off, assholes. leave my fucking best friend alon

[cimorene]

your background comes from everything that happens around you when you grow up. i'm a firm nurture-supporter in the nature/nurture debate, even down to artisitic and writing skills to a large extent, and it matters how many friends you had and who they were and what your parents thought about everything and how hot it was and how often you played outside. but the thing is that when you have good parents to whom you're very close they're like half of your nurture all together because they color how you take in EVERYTHING else.

guinevere33 and i, as the lovely (if bitter and old) wax_jism can attest, do not have southern accents despite growing up in the heart of dixie--why? because my father's parents grew up in nyc, so he doesn't, and my mother grew up in kansas. why? because even though her mother was bred in the carolinas, is named betty gail and gan sound like katherine tucker windham on a good day, her father is from maryland. confederate battle flags? jesus fish? the word 'y'all'? ignorance of evolution? an inexplicable distaste for biracial marriage, or, hm, a desire to see the ten commandmants on the wall? move right along, folks, because you're not going to find them here. we're alabamians, not southerners, transplants, not fucking natives. no one in 18 years has assumed either of us was from tuscaloosa, but in less than 12 months, people can't tell she's not pure la and i'm not pure massachusetts, so yeah.

your heritage, your upbringing, your background? those are in your home. not around your house.

Comments

[thelionforreal.livejournal.com]

me, i was born in irving, texas (home of cowboys stadium) and raised in the very northwestern most corner of mississippi. i never really had a bad accent, and six months after i moved up here, *snap* it was gone. (i had my own reasons for phasing it out, including those having to do with living in a village of 3000 residents who weren't so tolerant minded, having shaved my head and being a lesbian. all i needed was one more thing to make me stick out like a sore thumb.) but, anyway, the point is this.

i was never a southerner. 17 years in the south, and i was never ever a southerner. not a stereotypical one, anyway. my father, born and raised in chelsea, michigan, is more of a southerner than i ever was. he's the one who's got the southern accent now. my grandparents (his parents) still don't have one, and they've lived there just as long. i was raised by transplanted northerners in the south, and that's where the question of upbringing comes in. my grandparents practically raised me, and they are very tolerant individuals.

i asked them once what they thought about raising me, if they expected me to become anything, as i was their only daughter (their daughter katja died at 16 months from scarlet fever), and my nana said, "raising you, we just tried to give you the widest berth possible so that you could be come your own person. we never wanted to mold you into anything." and that's why i'm the not-southerner that i am. i was raised to be completely open-minded, tolerant, and so on.

there are things about the south that are beautiful (which you don't dispute, i'm sure), but i got out as soon as i could, and while my daddy would love for me to come back, i never will, and he knows that.

okay, that was a ramble, and i'm not sure it had a point.

*raises hand*

[undone27.livejournal.com]

Not to be the devil's advocate here, but why does native Southerner=intolerant bastard? I was born in Ft Lauderdale, Florida (which is NOT the South, its more like New York-Southern annex) but my family is solidly Southern. I think the more rural/isolated and less educated any group of people are, the more intolerant they are. Me, I'm not the hickest of all, but I say y'all, I love collard greens, sweet tea, porch swings, Decoration Day, and I love the sound of a southern accent.
However, I've been to other parts of the country and the South does NOT have the corner on racism or homophobia, or fundie behavior. Andrew Sheppard? Wasn't raped and left for dead tied to a fencepost here. Abner Louima? Wasn't beaten and sodomized with a broomhandle by cops here. Creationism? Has been taught lately in public schools in Colorado, California, Ohio, and Kansas.

Sorry to hijack your thread here, but I have to defend the South. Yes, we have a ways to go, yes, Roy Moore is an idiot, and I agree, your parents and heritage are learned inside your home. My parents would have KILLED ME if I considered anyone to be lesser than me because of the color of their skin, or who they loved. "Redneck" behavior is a sign of lower-class behavior to me, and I've seen rednecks in Detroit, Chicago, LA, and Cleveland. However, we're still singled out as the epicenter of intolerance. I guess that will never change.

[hollsh.livejournal.com]

I know no one will understand what I'm talking about, but I get that when people call me a Newfie. I AM NOT FROM NEWFOUNDLAND! I AM FROM NOVA SCOTIA! AND NO ITS NOT "CLOSE ENOUGH!"

I dont have any problems with Newfies, though the "dumb Newfie" jokes suck a lot, it's just that I'm not from there. You dont say to someone in Scotland "Oh, youre English right?" because they live near the border. Newfoundland and Nova Scotia are separated by wuite a bit of ocean, they arent that close!

People also say that because I live in Ontario, I'm not a Cape Bretoner, but I spend 1/3 of my life there, and the rest of my life raised around their way of life. I have way more in common with the people down there than I do up here, thats my family, and if they consider me to be one of them, everyone else should too.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Not suggesting that you can judge someone's intelligence, compassion, religious viewpoint, or political stance based on her accent, are you? 'cuz that would be ... bigoted.