header spelunking

[cimorene]

1. The day before, Thorin was everything Bilbo had wanted in a boyfriend. The day after, he's anything but. Discovering your boyfriend torturing a man in the basement tends to have that effect. Bagginshield Mafia AU.


2. This thing has been sitting around and sitting around and sitting around because I couldn’t decide if I liked it. I don’t write smut very well, it’s just not something I’m good at. So I anchored some feels to the end and well…this is the results. It’s actually a really terrible piece of writing, but if I keep staring at it, I’m going to delete it all.


3. Then Bilbo puts his foot in it and finds out that dwarves have zero concept of anal sex or rimming and winds up having to explain it to Thorin, to his great embarrassment. Difficult times with euphemisms ahead!


4. Bilbo banished by Thorin, carries Thorin's baby. Returning to the shire in utter dispair. Dont worry happiness is there too. :-D


5. Notes: No actual frogs were harmed in the production of this fanfic
   

Comments

[starfish]

Bagginshield Mafia AU.

WAT.

[krait]

Your reaction? Yeah, it's my reaction, too.

[cimorene]

It's depressingly common.

[cimorene]

THERE ARE A LOT OF THOSE. Usually he's not actually a typical bad mafia guy though. But there are a lot where he's the ruler of a 'crime empire' or gang. As far as I know this is the only 'dark' one (I don't read them as a rule...).

[mirabella]

I would ask how many times the "I will name our child Frodo and raise him as my 'nephew'!" trope has been done, but to be honest I don't want to know. It would just make me tired.

[cimorene]

Yeah, best not.

[zana16]

#5 actually sounds intriguing. Until I think about it too hard. *side-eyes*