header spelunking: Bard does what he must

[cimorene]

1. Tags: first attempt ever at writing pole dancing


2. Tags: Bard of Laketown/Smaug, Ficlet, Prostitution
   Bard does what he must to provide for his family.


3. Harry is being sold to the Centaurs by Dumbledore. Things don't go as planned.


4. A George of the Jungle / Tarzan AU where Louis is a model who meets Wild Man Harry in the Congo. He was raised by apes and barely speaks a word of English and turns Louis' life upside down.


5. Title: My little Naga
   Not Rated
   Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   Tags: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Supernatural Creatures, Naga, harry is half human, tom is a naga
   Summary: Harry Potter has finally escaped with his godfathers and the only safe place he has to go to is the caves of the forbidden forest. At least the leader there, Voldemort is willing to take him in.

Comments

[lobelia321]

!!!!! I want to read all of this but especially George / Tarzan. Also Harry/Tom omg *lust*

[cimorene]

So many questions though like how can you have sex with a giant snake (don't answer that) and if Tom IS a giant snake, is he literally a giant snake? Or like a centaur? Or like Beetlejuice, when he goes snake-y? Does he have that hot Young Riddle actor's face, or upper body, or what? (Obviously I discount the possibility that the NR rating doesn't include wacky giant snake interspecies, otherwise what is the point)

Also why did the apes in the Congo teach Harry of the Jungle one word of English? Or a handful of words? Was it the words they overheard like on tv? Do apes in the jungle watch tv? Were these urban apes? Do they only know a few words, period, or is it like "Hello my name is" and "What is your hobby" in English, and the rest French?

What WAS the human-centaur trafficking plan? What is Dumbledore's relationship with the centaurs? Is human slavery a normal thing for them???

Not asking any questions about the Smaug/humanoids thing, because it's been done so much that I'm afraid I will get mental images as a result.