I ran out of malapropisms, eggcorns, and homophone substitutions last week, but then...

[cimorene]

...I spent the last three days reading Stranger Things fic on and off, so have some more:

• his shirt had the band's logo printed largely across the front



• No pause, just petal to the metal,



• the small hymns of satisfaction he would let out



• a job, a car, and decent hygiene regiment,



• pleading eyes barring right into his soul,



• Two boys go on a roadtrip. Shenanigans ensure.

Comments

[krait]

Hey, that band hand-made those shirts! I'm very proud of them and you shouldn't laugh just because they forgot to check whether the logo would fit on the smaller shirt sizes. :D

I'd like a hygiene regiment to come tackle my household chores, honestly.

[cimorene]

I want to know if the logo was partly missing, or partly on the back!

[krait]

I like to think they wrapped it around, so the last few letters were on the side-to-back. :D

[cimorene]

...OK I was like "that sounds more efficient than just one guy they would finish so fast!" but Wax googled it and a regiment is actually 3000-5000 men and they would definitely not fit in our house. Probably a squad (which is like 8-10 guys) would be enough.

[krait]

Hey, I think for most things short of actual combat, regiments probably work in smaller groups, right? Squads are a thing for a reason. So the Hygiene Regiment could work in shifts of 10, changing out every 6 hours round the clock till the chores were finished. With 5000 of them that would definitely get things accomplished fast!

[phosfate]

This is not a malotypo, but I thought you'd like to know that I read a fic last week featuring the phrase, "his stomach fluttered like it held a diseased bat."

[cimorene]

Hahaahaha! That's a new one. I hope.

[phosfate]

Not JUST a bat...a diseased bat!

[cimorene]

That also begs the question of how its flapping is influenced by the disease, but of course that depends on the disease.

[phosfate]

I mean I'm pretty sure the stomach acid would make it flap anyway. For a little while.

[cimorene]

Yeah, it just must be flapping MORE... or more irregularly? Can bat-disease render a bat more vulnerable to stomach acid?

[phosfate]

I dunno, by the time the bat's actually in the stomach, it's burning suffocating, and drowning. If the bat's diseased, there are probably white-haired bats in floral sweaters and reading glasses on chains outside murmuring that it's a blessing, really.

[cimorene]

I'm picturing like the bat puppets from Sesame Street with the little wigs and glasses that they use to make Cookie Monster's grandma.

[phosfate]

*googles*

Holy cow, I had no idea he had a family.

[cimorene]

A favorite childhood movie of mine was Don't Eat the Pictures!, the Sesame Street special filmed at the Met. The title song features a chorus of cookie monster granny angels singing backup: Don't Eat the Pictures song

[phosfate]

Aw nice! I should find the whole thing just for the Met stuff.

I'm too old to remember this stuff, I'm, like, OG Gordon generation.

[cimorene]

It's on YouTube, I think, not great quality, and in bits. The gang is locked in the museum over night and Big Bird and Snuffy befriend an unquiet ancient Egyptian ghost and help him make his journey to the underworld. Osiris is present.

I got it for my fifth(?) birthday on VHS in the late 80s!