It's Bad Epithet Day, I'm afraid

[cimorene]

1. the pious shepherd would lecture

2. The abnormally pale adolescent

3. glaring down at the man in the lounger.

4. What was really excruciating, however, was realising he was falling in love with the man who had waited by his bedside.

5. The dirty blonde with the stupidly perfect hair approaches the bar,

6. The babysitter shrugged it on in front of his mirror.

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS bad epithet for the kitchen counter:

7. she only has her knees on the laminate surface,

Comments

[aeslis]

Epithets are like, the opposite of a bulletproof kink, for me. They will almost always make me go D8

[cimorene]

Epithets and twee preschool-level words for anatomy are the gold and silver metal winners for things that most often dramatically break the mood when I was innocently reading a scene that was attempting to be romantic or sexy.

[princessofgeeks]

LAMINATE SURFACE

OMG CONTRACTOR PORN

[cimorene]

Yeah, the one time you can actually expect to hear countertops called that. In real estate it might be relevant, but they probably don't want to remind you unnecessarily that it's not stone.