you know what? fuck america.

[cimorene]

i've never been patriotic, and not just because i find patriotism, like team spirit, deeply creepy, but because since i was a child, i've been a cynical bitch and i have looked at the country with open eyes and disliked it.  that dislike has grown stronger as i've gotten older.  it has been mixed with disgust and horror and fear, as well as the realization that people are despicable in other places too;  but it has never been supplanted. 

but i have also felt wistful affection for the ideals the country was supposedly founded on, and discovered hidden bits of subconscious affection for familiar things.  and i have felt hope, especially over the last four years.

and despite my solid belief that america is more stupid and self-centered than other countries--i have never believed this could happen.  for the past year, i think--once the atrocities of those currently in power in this country reached a certain point--i have never really believed bush could be re-elected.  i guess i hang out on livejournal too much.  if i wanted to face harsh reality with my eyes open, i should have immersed myself more in the sewer of the real world. 

because i'm genuinely shocked.  i feel sick.  i feel embarrassed that i was naive.

and i don't have any hope left.  i don't have any belief in a base below which americans will not sink--there is no baseline of stupidity, wilful ignorance, hate, fear.  there is no bad thing that cannot happen.  i'm through.  i'm not going to waste more energy on false hope.  i don't want this identity.  the insanity of this people and this country which i have never been able to identify with--i don't want them anymore. 

this is it, america.  it's over.  goodbye.  i hope you rot.  i hope you do it with a minimum of damage to other people and places.  you're not my country.

Comments

[southpaw526.livejournal.com]

Amen, sister. I don't even want to say I'm American any more. First chance I get I'm moving to Canada or somewhere where the people are decent.

At least Kerry won Pennsylvania.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i recommend canada. it's close and english-speaking and very cool.

[cruelest-month.livejournal.com]

I agree with you entirely. That's exactly how I feel.

[mirabella]

I wish to god I could say this, and I'm so glad that you're in a position where you can.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

well, you know, i'm not ... married or citizenified yet.

although god knows i'd cling by my fingernails if it came to that.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

thank you. for your pessimism. and cynicism. and realism. this is the first post i've been able to read all the way through on my flist.

[jennaria.livejournal.com]

Go you. I spent as much time as I could today at work (once finished with the shouting and the swearing) researching immigration laws in other countries.