(no subject)

what is chipotle?

the pregnant lady on the us prez's latest political scheme (actually happened last night)

hollsk: I was mad last night at some newsreporter guy yammering on and on about how the entire world 'owes' the US, and they should HAVE to go to war
cim thing: what? owes? the entire world?
cim thing: oookay, nice monkey. take the nice tranquilizers. the men in the suits won't hurt you.
GhettoHobbit: Me: BUSH DOESNT OWN THE WHOLE WORLD SO HE CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE!!! IF NO ONE ASSASSINATES HIM I'M GOING TO BECAUSE I'M PISSED OFF!!!
GhettoHobbit: Chris: Uhhh...yeah...
cim thing: yeah, please KILL him, because he's a fucking moron
cim thing: and needs to die.
cim thing: an evil moron. the evil moron of doom
GhettoHobbit: I shall use the excuse of hormones and kill him with a rock and a bottle of javex
GhettoHobbit: Me: If you dont drink that bottle of Javex I'm going to hit you with this ROCK!
sally: rock on!
GhettoHobbit: I shall call it my Smiting Bleach and the Rock of Justice
cim thing: YES!
cim thing: yes you SHALL!
cim thing: WHOO!
cim thing: AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A PARTY!
cim thing: and dance on his grave.
aragorn: cim. please, calm down.
psy: Can I pee on his grave?
cim thing: WE'LL ALL PEE ON IT!
GhettoHobbit: PEE PARTY!
GhettoHobbit: Peeing: Solving Political Problems Since 1896 BC

(no subject)

i need to go to the post office, i think. i don't want to leave the computer, though. what am i saying? i never want to leave the computer. if i come back and the cable modem is down, though, i may be dangerous. i'm just warning you. meanwhile, certain people have never been more magnificent. i have a replica of the one ring and my puppy is chewing on a piece of rawhide quite energetically, so maybe he's not sick after all.

sometimes i wish the whole world were populated with dogs instead of people. many many people i hate.

godDAMMIT.

WHAT?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

::tears out hair::

(no subject)

it's amazing the number of livejournal users who feel their inmost self is captured by britney spears's face.

/snerk.

and may i say again?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAURRRRGGGH!

why me, god? why, why, why?

[edit: livejournal is broken again? fuck it. seven ways to hell. with some kind of bells on, possibly. i'm losing patience rapidly and i just want to read some diana wynne jones that i've never read before. maybe i'll search the internet for that existentialist novel by tom stoppard.

my hands are making pitiful little CLAWS. see? ::gnashes teeth:: rrrrk.

if i could say what i wanna say
i'd say i wanna blow you --away
be with you every night
am i squeezing you too tight?
if i could say what i wanna see
i wanna see you go down
on one knee

i liked this song better when i thought it said 'blow you' and 'see you go down on me.' holls and i are agreed--it's better that way.]

(no subject)

'I am a man of absolutely no convictions, or at least I think I am.'

--christopher hampton, the philanthropist

(no subject)

wake me up when i'm cheerful again.

STEVE!

my STEVIE is back!

WHEE!

coming up:

more shakespearean insults.

calling memphis!

whee! my stevie is back! i may have to start twirling!

Perhaps I am a miscreation
No one knows the truth, there is no future here
And you're the DJ speaks to my insomnia
And laughs at all I have to fear

cim's take on the r kelly thing. somewhat late.

so, i thought no one was dumber than george dubya, and THEN r kelly proved me wrong!

ruin your life: fool-proof plan a
1) molest underaged girls.
2)get video footage.
3)get sued.
4)deny everything.*
5)release a whiny-ass song about how everyone always picks on you and doesn't believe your side of the story.**


* first say you did not know the girl. then say you knew her but you didn't have sex. then say you had sex but she wasn't underage. then say you had sex but she TOLD you she wasn't underage.

**this song should in no way be catchy.

(no subject)

i found the font i wanted.

whoot!


que se consuman las palabras en los labios
que contaminen todo el agua del planeta
o que renuncian los filántropos y sabios
y que se muera hoy hasta el último poeta

more of shakespearean mud-slinging

(the first 3 plays' worth are here.)

there's many a man hath more hair than wit. what a mountain of mad flesh! you brace of unmeriting, proud, violent, testy magistrates! be mocked for valiant ignorance, and perish common fools. she's outpriz'd by a trifle.

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