angstepic update and nightmares!

we're already done with mamahooch's comments and waiting for the british-speak beta. wax says she gets nervous when they don't say a lot. i guess viggorlijah is more nitpicky. well, she commented on every sentence, says wax. my k'sal was almost that talkative. thorough. but alas, she is busy all the time anymore. i suppose we will just have to be nervous. it's all in what you're used to and all that.

woke up crying and talking (to my mom in my dream) with wax shaking my shoulder. in the dream, this other girl like my age was living in our dining room with a baby, and everyone was ignoring me in her favor and being all bitchy to me. see, in the middle of the night her baby was crying, and it KEPT crying, so i went into the room where they were both sleeping and she was still asleep, and i picked the baby up, feeling much more charitable towards them both, and jiggled it a bit until it stopped and went back to sleep, and then put it back in the bed, but then at breakfast everyone was all cold and evil to me and i was like 'what?' and my dad said, 'it really wasn't necessary for you to come take her baby last night.' so i started crying and screamed 'i hate you' and threw my glass of water on his shirt and locked myself in my room, and then the next day i went looking for him to talk to him and i was hanging from his arm in the hallway and he shook me off and said 'i'm busy. in a minute.' so i ran into the livingroom, crying, and threw myself on the couch and my mom was there, saying scornfully, 'well, isn't THIS dramatic.' and i was sobbing, 'you don't understand! everyone hates me! it's like i'm not even here!' and then wax woke me up.

speaking of nightmares, i have to pack today, and we have to go to the airport tonight (tomorrow morning) at 3 am.

mrf.

i nap for two hours and dream that i'm the emperor of china, with people attempting to assasinate me. and i have magical powers. and a young wife who's wearing a hideously ugly neon pink satin robe thingy.

and then about high school graduation.

don't laugh! this shit is seriously disturbing.

::yawn::

edit (17.58): an hour later of feverish packing, i feel mildly sick and mildly dizzy. maybe the napping at odd hours isn't good? oh, what the hell, jetlag soon anyway.

(no subject)

it's as well i forgot to take my meds thiis morning, cause this way i was able to take them now and be closer to on some sort of schedule. uh, adapting, you know. if i take them again in 20 hours it will be something resembling morning at home. and dude, i was not at all stressed or unhappy about leaving for finland--unlike last summer, the first time i met wax, when i was having anxiety attacks on the way to the airport. no, not a sign before, and now even though i am going home, to the house i've lived in since i was 7 years old, my stomach is being pissy and nervous and generally sucking. i ate a bowl of granola and yogurt a few hours ago, a very small bowl. nothing since. walked in the snow to bus stop with wax to take my heavier luggage. ...here we are now. she finished most of the norwegian by hand at work today. that's the only thing we have to do between now and 3 am, although personally, i could sleep the entire time.

dude, wax is SO sullen.