how to write sex scenes - meta

learning to write sex scenes is a process that takes, mainly, a lot of practise and trial and error. just as you cannot learn to sew complicated garments without doing some seams wrong, you can't learn to write sex scenes instantly either; it's a gradual process extending over years of reading, writing, and thinking (whether critically or intuitively) about what you read and write.

i've read a lot of meta about it over the years, but some of the best essays i've seen have been cupidsbow's "the formula for writing sex scenes", which considers them as action scenes using the three-part "action formula"; and resonant8's four-part "how to write sex scenes", which picks four important do/don't pieces of advice: "make me yearn", "pick one zing and stick to it", "make the sex fit the characters", and "choose your details carefully".

i found both these essays struck a chord when i first read them; i think advice of this sort is really useful to read, because what you really need to get good at a specific writing skill is to become more aware of the inner workings of that skill - to be sensitised so that when you're reading and writing yourself, you look at the text more critically, about what it's doing and how, and how well.

cim: mmm, i just don't know what else to add really - if you just wanted me to ramble aimlessly, no problem!
lilah:  hey, lj is the perfect place for aimless ramblings in my book!

i think my attempts to write sex scenes, starting in spring 01 in popslash (with some atrocious stories), have gone through several main periods as i struggled to acquire and accustom myself to different skills. ( rambling more or less aimlessly! )