Badfic headers

The headers from badfic are often hilarious, but the ones in My Chemical Romance which I've been seeing for the past couple of weeks are light-years funnier than your ordinary, run-of-the-mill badfic headers. So I started collecting them, of course. Note: header excerpts are perhaps not 100% worksafe (language). Also, there's a couple of Panic! At The Disco headers hiding in there, too.

( Summary: Do you know how it feels when there's something there, and you want to touch it but you can't? Gerard does. )