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"No straight man would [wear that shirt, move his hips like that, cuddle a man like that, stand like that, like that music, wear that eyeliner]" is a lamentably common refrain in fandom. It's probably popular for all the right reasons, usually, because gay is a compliment from the fannish point of view.
It's also something I'll forever associate with tinhats (ie: slash fans who believe their RPS pairings are Really And Truly Real), because this was the favourite argument of the most famous tinhats of all - the Domlijah True Believers back in Lord of the Rings RPS fandom. The favourite arguments of the tinhats had to do with body language, despite the fact that they purported to have actual contact with a secret Source close to the happy couple who fed them messages of comradeship. Pictures of actors standing close together or looking at each other or standing in the same pose are purported to be incontrovertible proof of long-term coupleship, or sexual attraction: it's a So-Married pose, it's the kind of unconscious mirroring that grows up naturally after years of being Soulmates, etc.
But the argument in a more general sense usually has to do with gayness, and we see it a lot nowadays. But this statement is wrong.
A straight man could wear eyeliner, or a pink shirt, or stand like that. And would.
Because the only thing that no straight man would do is be in a sexual relationship with another man. That's it. They can cuddle, cry, talk about their feelings, dress how they want to, gesticulate, sound swishy, wear pink. These are all cultural prohibitions - they aren't naturally or genetically associated with sexual orientation at all. They're things that many men avoid in our culture (not, for example, in Japan) because they are frightened of being characterised as gay.
So if you're calling guys gay because they cuddle and kiss their friends, wear feather boas, cry, love shoes, talk with their hands, love showtunes - even if you're saying it because you LOVE them for it, because you love that they're that gay - you're reinforcing the very cultural norms and stereotypes which they're fighting against.
It's also something I'll forever associate with tinhats (ie: slash fans who believe their RPS pairings are Really And Truly Real), because this was the favourite argument of the most famous tinhats of all - the Domlijah True Believers back in Lord of the Rings RPS fandom. The favourite arguments of the tinhats had to do with body language, despite the fact that they purported to have actual contact with a secret Source close to the happy couple who fed them messages of comradeship. Pictures of actors standing close together or looking at each other or standing in the same pose are purported to be incontrovertible proof of long-term coupleship, or sexual attraction: it's a So-Married pose, it's the kind of unconscious mirroring that grows up naturally after years of being Soulmates, etc.
But the argument in a more general sense usually has to do with gayness, and we see it a lot nowadays. But this statement is wrong.
A straight man could wear eyeliner, or a pink shirt, or stand like that. And would.
Because the only thing that no straight man would do is be in a sexual relationship with another man. That's it. They can cuddle, cry, talk about their feelings, dress how they want to, gesticulate, sound swishy, wear pink. These are all cultural prohibitions - they aren't naturally or genetically associated with sexual orientation at all. They're things that many men avoid in our culture (not, for example, in Japan) because they are frightened of being characterised as gay.
So if you're calling guys gay because they cuddle and kiss their friends, wear feather boas, cry, love shoes, talk with their hands, love showtunes - even if you're saying it because you LOVE them for it, because you love that they're that gay - you're reinforcing the very cultural norms and stereotypes which they're fighting against.
