I regret to say that

I've observed a gradual rise in fanfiction in general, and now a rather sharp rise in Good Omens fanfiction in particular, of writers attempting to use "bottom" and even "rear" in a sexy context.

It's a truly sobering reflection that this phenomenon could soon be frequent enough to qualify as a pet peeve, something that wasn't even in my darkest imaginings the first time I had the misfortune to read it so many years ago.