on the "worth it"/"productive discussion" fallacy

[cimorene]

seperis says here

I speak for myself entirely when I say, suddenly becoming the most enlightened person on the fucking planet due to this would not make the escalating nightmare this has been for so many people worth it. Speaking for myself, sitting here in comfortable privilege and mulling how much new material I have to read, I'm ashamed that in this, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain and I've profited immensely by way of clicking links like some progressive online course. And I have to be grateful, and sickened by it.

- Recalling to mind ciderpress's eloquent cry from the other side (already quoted multiple times elsewhere, most recently by minnow1212 here, who provided a link),

However, in the intense and almost singular focus on clueless white people in this discussion and the often repeated statement that this was an opportunity to dialogue, that there is solace in the fact that it has been worth all the pain and difficulty, that they are somehow *glad*, the underlying assumption is that:

# PoCs have emotional/intellectual catharsis after such discussions.

# PoC's pain being part of an educational moment for clueless white people is worth it to PoCs because it's worth it to white people.

# Anti-racism matters the same amount, in the same way to clueless white people, allies and PoC.

My own personal answer is, frankly no, I haven't felt any kind of catharsis. I'm pretty sure that the sacrifice of my dignity and watching other PoC being denigrated without any remorse isn't worth it so please stop talking for me and be more precise in your speech and own that you didn't really think about whether my pain and humiliation is worth your enlightening moment."

That's what I'm thinking about in today's round of reading all of rydra_wong's links: my own privilege. My white privilege means that I have to remember consciously the truth in this: my learning about privilege and hidden racism happens at the cost of a really ugly mess that's nothing helpful and definitely nothing new to people of colour. That sucks. (My post is nothing new either, but then, none of this is; and I can't stay quiet just because smarter people are saying it better; I believe that it's important that there be a lot of voices raised in protest, and if there are, I want my voice, however insignificant, to be one of them.)

Comments

[copracat]

It reminds me, in a not entirely congruent way at all, of the idea that serious illness like cancer can be a boon in your life, that the hardship, grief, pain and fear makes you a better, stronger person. Frankly, I'd rather be weak and read my lessons from a book.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this post. You summed very succinctly what I'd been trying to find words for. However much I've learned, I don't want to learn it at this cost to people's well being. There's no catharsis, only growing dismay.

[riverlight.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this. This is something I definitely needed to see!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

None of this has been worth even the personal cost to coffeeandink.