Wax and I got onto the subject of bad epithets...

[cimorene]

...and it occurred to me that I now have a tie for favorite epithet I've ever read! That doesn't happen often. I mean usually there's ONE most horrifying fictional occurrence (example: child rape, still the top of The Horrifying Things Scale) or ONE hilarious epithet. Shocking things tend to blow whatever previously-most-shocking thing came before them out of the water, instead of leaping into a dead heat.

Poll #893 Funniest Epithet

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15

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Which of my two favorite epithets is funniest?

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The average-sized apartment for a man who lives alone
3 (20.0%)

The red-haired athletic tennis player with a permanent bandage as a facial accessory
12 (80.0%)

Indeed those are funny but this write-in is funnier:

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Speaking of The Horrifying Things Scale, I still place penis shrapnel at a mere 9/10 while child rape takes the cake at 10/10, but until recently I'd read three child rape stories and only one Penis Shrapnel Story, because, really, penis shrapnel: it's not the kind of thing you just come up with. But as of two days ago I've now had to say that I have read two penis shrapnel stories. Admittedly, there was no shrapnel, but there was a surprise!penis disfigurement involving Metal In A Way That Penises Aren't Meant To Involve Metal. And I think that, morally, that has to be grouped with Penis Shrapnel.

Comments

[cimorene]

My thoughts exactly. Now I'm just trying to forget, forget, forget, and not a) picture or b) speculate on the circumstances (in the absence of Gmail's "Mark Unread" button).