social spoons gone, what next?

[cimorene]

I've had a slightly stressful time the last few weeks and in general, my brain needs additional time off - ie time to hide from all interaction with people in meatspace - after that.

• Two weeks ago I had a unit test, and I had to spend most of the weekend writing a couple of essays and doing assignments that had piled up


• The following week I had go out of town from Wednesday through Friday evenings, on a class trip, so I was never alone, and my listening comprehension and speaking skills were called on a lot, plus I got zero alone time while there


• Last weekend was tragically only 2 days long and in my recent stress I've gotten behind on dishes. I spent the weekend feeling guilty about that, but did not do them, mainly because my feet hurt and I didn't want to stand beside the sink. Lame, I know, but in a low-spoon situation 'standing on sore feet' is just like AIEEE

As always happens when I'm socially overstimulated, my ability to Can Do Other People has vanished, and I now turn on a dime from normal me to being so irritated and/or angry about other people (real examples from today: pondering the existence of capitalism from a class discussion on the EU; two classmates whispering & giggling nearby when I was trying to do verb agreement worksheets; thinking about how two old people on the bus were probably political conservatives; reading an article about Rwandan feminist politicians) that I enter the Thinking About How Inconceivably Crappy Humanity Is spiral. This afternoon I laid down on the sofa and cried because I want to not have to see any other people face-to-face... well, right now, I want to see them approximately never, maybe after two weeks or so, but I know that in practice this feeling usually wears off if I'm allowed to hibernate for four or five days.

Anyway... COPING STRATEGIES: does anyone have any? I mean, when you ARE in public. Obviously, I can take mental health days and I will do that if I actually get to the point of nervous breakdown, but I'd rather not because this course moves fast and it would be possible to get significantly behind.

Comments

[james]

Headphones with music you find soothing -- I like instrumental music to calm me down, like Einaudi and The Piano Guys and Pachelbel's Canon. Even if people insist on talking to you when you're wearing headphones, if you leave them near your ear so you can still hear the calming music, I find it helps a lot.

[cimorene]

Thank you! I will try that!

[vass]

I love my therapy putty. It's good for hand strength, sensory integration, and for clenching in your fist and digging your nails into when you're furious. Ordinary putty works for this, but therapy-grade putty is firmer and more satisfying to clench in fury.

You can bring something to chomp angrily on - the end of a pencil, if you don't mind splinters all over your desk; or there are silicon pencil toppers that are harder to destroy like that.

Some people do prayer beads, meditation beads, or the rosary.

"I knit so I do not kill people" is also an icon for a reason, but in your situation you might draw people making conversation about your knitting.

I like nature sounds better than instrumental music, for calming - rain in particular.

There's aromatherapy - personally, I find scents overwhelming if I can't get away from them, but a few drops of perfume oil on a hankie or tissue in a little plastic bag works: I can take it out and sniff it, then put it away and not smell it.

The iPhone Bejeweled app (maybe the Android version too? I don't know) has a Zen mode with nature sounds and timed lights to synch your breathing to. And it still has satisfying explosions.

Then there's the old 'put cartoon mp4s on your phone and keep taking five minute toilet breaks when you can to watch them with your earphones on in a toilet stall' trick. Can also be done with fanfic or books or puzzles.

[viggorlijah]

A favourite book as a token? I have a paperback anthology that I pack on any overnight trip because it is intensely reassuring to have it there and to know I can physically hold this object with loved well-worn words and read it.

[quirkytizzy]

Random DW'r stopping by. I am also a person whose Can Do With Other People (omg love that way of putting it) runs out and runs out very quickly. I get paranoid, anxious, and start flinching at sounds. So I stay home a lot. People think I'm isolating on purpose or I don't like them. And often I don't, but just as often, I'm just....out of energy to deal with the world. Completely. Also good to hear someone else say "spoons." I get that.

I try focusing on immediate, physical things in my surroundings. I start counting chairs in the room, or describe in detail in my head the layout of the room. If I can, I write it (writing is always very helpful for me.) It's a way of zoning out without having to hide deep in my head.

[cimorene]

Thank you! That... actually sounds useful. I remember when I was in high school that I used to draw or write stuff in a paper notebook. That might be something I could actually manage.