why my ardor for star trek cooled in the first place...

maybe i should stop surfing the site which is the root of all evil for mediocre k/s? it's a morbid fascination, i tell you.

if i read any of it tomorrow i'm trusting you all to slap me.

if i had three wishes, i'd get some more really good writers for my pet genre (she said mournfully).

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oh god.

i would hurl myself from a literary cliff, but i don't want to be stranded with all my bones broken with all the blissfully unaware bad writers who are surely already there.

i'll just beat my head against the wall instead.

::whimper::

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had an odd nightmare.

and what is with these sucky stories?

dreams and... something.

is it a bad sign when a story makes you go 'um... okay'?

so last night i unwisely slept only six hours. i have to go to the dentist in two more, and my green bra, which i really, really NEED, goddammit, is still. missing. i've read some k/s that's better than mediocre in the backlogs of side by side, but i have to say that in my estimation its only significant claims to fame remain the two stories on my recs page, one of which is my beloved betamander's "in check" (and i can't be bothered to check for the link now, but it's somewhere in here).

that's not the only thing i'm missing: stapler, parts of my japanese text book, sundry toiletries. argh. i foresee a trip to wal-mart in my not-so-distant future.

i had a dream of guinevere33's birthday party, only apparently it was in three years from now because she'd been dating her ex-boyfriend for three years, and i got to witness her giving him some sort of three-hour ultimatum (one hour per year?) after which time if he still sucked she was going to break up with him. there was also a piano salesman and... a plane trip? i remember an airport like the one in seoul, that i've only ever been in once, and i was terrified. kwirbx was there, but he was flying somewhere else, from gate something-8, and i wanted the same letter, but -6. there was a little souvenir shop right in the middle of the hallway.

star trek fandom and the future of k/s... and... stuff. a... rant?

so ellen_fremedon and my betamander (k'sal) and myself, among other people, joined a list run by the woman who owns the root of all evil to write a kirk/spock round robin which was supposed to be done in march and eventually just collapsed under the weight of its own suckiness, possibly never to recover. okay, not possibly--probably. we're talking major suckiness. i'm not even going to come close to the plot with a ten foot pole; you can just imagine the silliest plot you can come up with and then add some extra silly elements to it.

so the point isn't to bitch about this woman whom i dislike. although of course i'm not above taking pot-shots. no. ::ahem:: the point is that before the rr collapsed and before the list started decaying, there were some very fascinating discussions--about kirk and spock, the series as a whole, the logistics of various things (like telepathic bonding, the pon farr, how they react to each other--), with some people who are wonderful additions to the genre.

ellen thinks k/s needs new blood. this has got me thinking. there are people who like k/s who have nothing to do with ASCEM and with reason--ASCEM is a dinosaur of a list, full of zine readers and people who produce reafs of bad paris/kim and such, and random discussions and trolls who people respond to. and most of its denizens are old.

okay, so, yes, k/s needs new blood, but i think there are people out there we could talk into it. caribbeanblue, shadowleopard? and i think there are more.

and then i'd make a new-list wishlist, because i think hope is not lost for a k/s list with interesting discussion. who would i want? judith gran, who doesn't write a lot but is invaluable in contributing to discussions. jat sapphire, who's fantastic at crushing trolls and the purveyors of stupid arguments and makes me giggle hysterically. miss sunbeam is witty and urbane and utterly, utterly charming. rae trail is funny and reasonable and a good, if not very prolific, writer.

there are some other people, i think.

mary ellen curtin is never around anymore, but she argues with the best of them. karmen ghia may have vanished, but she's a chekov shipper and that rocks. isla of hope and t'aeneli--who, i believe, are sort of involved in the printzine culture, along with jat sapphire--do not as far as i know, have a history of a lot of chatting on-list, but i'd be interested in their takes on these issues, just going from what i've read of their work. jane skazki contributed quite a bit to discussions.

i don't really know what i'm saying, except that k/s is really my pairing--my one true pairing, even--and that i don't want to see my interest in it die any more than i'd like to see it die for real, and i'd really like to do something about it.

i've just started a new story, anyway--ellen, i'd be delighted if you'd finish yours...

:]

k'sal tried and failed to send me a postcard, but she sent me an email instead.

here's the link to her "in check." ::re-reads some more:: have i mentioned how much she rocks?

"Let's see where I am. First, I am assuming that your demand to meld with me is based on logic, instinctive or conscious. Second, past observations suggest that you are being as truthful as you perceive possible about your reasons. In this conversation you've made several emphatic assertions."

"A: It is not at all dangerous to you for you and I meld, nor is it dangerous to me, and if M'Benga thinks differently he is wrong, My own instinctive reaction to that is that you are correct."

"B: Under certain circumstances, our 'mental familiarity' is positively helpful to you; my ability to bring you out of the link with Nomad is an example of that. That seems to be objective fact."

"C: It is dangerous for me to meld with other Vulcans. This I find fascinating. How could C be true if A is true? C seems to be a more general case of A. You say no; that C is equivalent to mental contact with the Melkotians - 'an unknown quantity with the undoubted capacity to damage me, whether intentional or not'. That's even more fascinating."

"D: You tell me that accepting your logic is rational. Now, we've already established that there is a flaw in your logic *as stated*, but actually this statement of yours agrees with my observations - that your logic and control are fundamentally extremely strong. So statement D supports my second assumption - that you are being as truthful as you believe consistent with doing no harm. Therefore, as a working theory I am going to accept the idea that you are being truthful and accurate when you tell me that we must meld. For the time being I'll also accept your contention that your responsibilities as First Officer require this."


::shiver:: logical!kirk! could he BE any sexier?

sarek, captain kirk, and the wall of the turbolift have a heart-to-heart

"He commented that he would prefer that you had children, since you were his only son. I told the wall that I regarded you as an extremely successful life form who should be encouraged to propagate. I mentioned that undoubtedly a wife who was not homicidal would facilitate the process. He said that contrary to my experience, most Vulcan females were quite peaceful."

hahahahahahahahaha.

::snuggles the story::

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back from dentist and all is in order. inked drawings from dad. mouth is a bit numb, not too bad. nothing hurts. am slightly hungry. must have k/s icon.

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with cable modem on one side and t3 on the other it's taking me 2 hours to send six russian tatu songs, in a .zip, to pechebaie.

o.O wtf!

::grrrrrrrrrrrrr.::

:]

the idea was to make a whole batch of kirk/spock icons for my renewed patriotism. otpism. but that didn't work out because there just aren't a lot of good pictures out there. on page 15 or so of the spock pictures, when i was looking at a life-size cardboard cutout of him in a bare apartment with some mardi gras beads draped over it, i gave up. and so here are the fruits of my labor, if you count the icon i'm posting this with and one more i've saved to cherish and use later.

right where my government knew i would be

thinking about some things... is like prodding a loose tooth.

god, i'm tired. oops. i meant to take a nap today.

wal-mart has been visited. perhaps unwisely, but i got my mom new hair color--clairol, not l'oreal, ukcalico and kmazzy. also disposable cameras and that's about it. but quality time, yo. i have a headache. already took some ibuprofen today--maybe should have got aspirin. o.O

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hmmmmmmmmmm.

the majority of stories out there just seem to be--well--really, really bad.

it doesn't seem fair.

ow.

the bruise above my knee isn't blue anymore; it's turned a nice green. it hurts when poked, which my bruises often don't. i'm still confused as to how the hell i got it.

my stomach has always been... excitable, since i was a little kid. i remember a great deal of trouble with it in fourth and fifth grade, particularly. i'm tired of it, but i suppose it's time to grow up. it's not going to stop any time soon. i'd better start dealing with it. my entire life can't come to a standstill every time my digestive tract has a hissy fit.

this is getting quite tedious.

i wonder how many people have independently come to the conclusion that their immediate family in particular is astonishingly like a sitcom.

maybe i should hop off of that particular bandwagon, give myself a bit more room for superiority.

dear, dear

oh god, save me from the william shatner/leonard nimoy rps bunnies.

SAVE ME.

::whimper::!

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awww, a story that didn't suck! isn't it heart-warming? memoirs of an alien who fell to earth, by dayspring. an established relationship holding my attention? i dunno... ::blinkblink::

the puppy got out of bed to sleep under the desk with his nose as near my toes as possible. i wonder if he senses something? he doesn't do that all that often (that is, when there isn't a thunderstorm or something about).