fuckit.

funny how after you've had fun and are coming down from a high, you're irritable and sort of hostile, isn't it?

so sick of being obliquely called a druggie because i take fucking PAXIL.

also i'm totally sick and tired of jenny's medicineophobic rants.  i don't even remember how it came up, but on the way to new mex she unsolicitedly told me that she believes that whenever people get depressed, there's an "issue" they need to deal with and that medication is just AVOIDING the issue by not dealing with it, and the only really healthy way to treat depression? is with "lifestyle and diet."  okay, that might work if the reason you were depressed was because you were an ex-druggie who refused to leave an abusive husband--not to get personal!--because obviously, eating regularly and hooking up with your soulmate is going to make a difference, even if you find a fundamentalist religion at the same time.  but EVERYONE IS NOT YOU, fucktard.  some people have problems with brain chemistry that cannot be solved by diet, sweet jesus. 

she also disclaimed--i was about to relax, when i saw she was going to--but then she said "maybe you don't believe that"--not "maybe that wouldn't work for you" or anything like that. 

so after gritting my teeth i replied that i didn't believe food could be used to treat depression in all cases and that in many it wouldn't do much.  she said with some asperity and a touch of, i don't know, exasperation? that "food is made out of chemicals."

well fuck me, gosh darn it, you're right.  i'll just find out how many FUCKING CARROTS i need to balance out my SEROTONIN RE-UPTAKE.

oh, go flagellate yourself somewhere private, for god's sake.  hi.  welcome to the world.  sometimes we use scientific evidence and research to support our ideas.  i know it sounds wild and crazy, but i believe it's a pretty cool idea.  of course, some people might not believe that.

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one of those internet paper doll things

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annlarimer got 'you are mary bell!' as a result in some quiz.  wacky!  WILD!  totally FREAKY!  gruesome!  i googled it.