Honestly, she's way worse than my mom and Wax's put together. Subtracted?

One of our Finnish teachers uses IE. And she's the more computer-skilled of them. (Neither one of them can remember how to scale up text size, either on webpages or in Word. Literally every time somebody in our class asks someone to enlarge text, whoever is teaching has to be told how to do it. Several times.)

Anyway, so the teacher who hates computers was trying to show us how to walk from the bus stop to the public ice rink, and she was in Google maps dragging the little point of view figure who opens street view. She kept dragging the little person in different directions, quite far away from the destination, and zooming in and out in map view without any appreciable effect, for like five minutes. Various people were shouting out theories for why it wouldn't work, and suggestions like restart the computer, or the browser, or maybe the mouse is broken, when suddenly and apparently miraculously a photo of the ice rink appeared!

"OH!" gasped the teacher. "You have to DOUBLE-click!"

(I teared up with laughter and had trouble gasping, "All that time you weren't double-clicking?")

DOG DIAPERS: Prologue A: The Craziness of... The Crazy

We don't only have dog diapers because we have a disgusting old dog. We also have a disgusting old cat! ( Read more... )

Oh Gosh, I forgot! DOG DIAPERS Addendum: The Bondage Belly Band

Somehow, in yesterday's summary of all my various attempts to create a working dog diaper solution, I forgot that one of the things I bought was a dog diaper holder that's actually made and sold specially FOR DOGS that somehow looks like kinky bondage wear. (See?)

That makes Kili something like one of his mitochondria. Also, the galaxy should be, say, a kidney.

1. Thorin is the universe, and Kili is the moon. Thorin isn't sure when exactly they became a part of the galaxy, but the dwarves that watch them are silent stars to an ocean of colours.


2. What if The Hobbit was really an early 19th century romance novel?


3. Thorin dreams...or does he?


4. A very short chapter because I felt I didn't get an overly encouraging reception to the last one. I'd love to know what I did wrong and whether I should bother continuing; university starts in a few weeks and I'm willing to put in the time if people want me to but otherwise I might be better off letting this die down.


5. Customs and courtships. Both very serious, and at times quite superficial. But always unnannounced and never discreet. [The hell? What language is this?]