back to silliness because the gatekeeping was such a drag

[cimorene]

That parody fic about the fans of a fictional hockey team saying "We won the Stanley Cup" (recommended, no real sports knowledge necessary) and the rest of this situation gave me a beautiful mental image of a Hugo award going on world tour the way the Stanley Cup does, spending a week with each team member the summer after they win.

WHAT IF: Every Fan on AO3 coming up with increasingly kinky uses for said statue and liveblogging 'their day' (or I guess it's a summer divided by a million users or whatever, so it's probably more like their 5 seconds) with photo[shop]s!

Of course, being a salad bowl, the Stanley Cup is suited for drinking champagne out of, eating cereal out of, carrying babies in, etc. The Hugo is a cigar-shaped rocket, which is... pretty dildoish, honestly, so aside from just photographing it in different places Amelie (or meme) -style, it's maybe harder to think beyond the obvious off-label usage... :

• Paint stirrer? Drink stirrer?


• Murder weapon?


• Doorstop


• Actual very tiny rocketship in a battle with tiny space aliens, provided some kind of ray gun was used to miniaturize the passengers first


• Hood ornament


• A character in a comic


• A bollard for a rather small road/parking lot


• A plumb bob

I know most of these aren't very kinky, but the kinkier ones seemed like low-hanging fruit, given the shape. I mean, we've all read the fic. At least, everyone sharing the award has.

Comments

[yvannairie]

+1

[krait]

Oh, man, I am definitely using my five minutes with the Hugo to stick it on the front of my car and drive really fast!

[cimorene]

Apparently hood ornaments that could injure someone are illegal here in Finland now. I wonder if that still applies to classic cars... ?

[copracat]

Decorate it like a tiny arty Christmas tree, if you got it at the right time of year.
Make a space travel diorama in your fish tank.

[cimorene]

Oh yeah, I didn't even think of the stuff you can do with it with small animals! Hamsters... mice... birds... small snakes...

[laurenthemself]

I'd find a place for it in a D&D diorama of some description, possibly busting through a torture chamber given that's the stuff I've been painting.

[cimorene]

To the rescue, or just to collapse the castle on top of everyone, though.

[laurenthemself]

It's Kevin Standlee's secret evil no-fun-having wizard tower, so BURN IT DOOOOWN

[elf]

Desktop spindle for rejection letters.

Toothpick for the Hulk cosplay.

Attempt to stake a vampire with it. Discover it is not wood. Attempt to stab a werewolf with it. Discover it is not silver. Pick it up by the rocket and bash a zombie over the head with the base.

[cimorene]

Using it as a desktop spindle does bring up the question of how sharp it is though

... and how far someone would have to fall on it for it to kill them.