fic post: sga: "instantaneous", sheppard/mckay, nc-17, 129K

[cimorene]

instantaneous
by cimorene
sheppard/mckay, nc-17, mid-s1, 129K
beta by isilya and giddygeek (♥!) and invaluable help from kaneko, julad and wax_jism.

"God, life is so unfair.  I find what appears to be the sole personal teleportation device in the city, it decides it likes you, and what do you do with it?  Save the city with a stunning feat of bravery and tactical prowess?  No.  You don't even bring me coffee--you use it to increase your repertoire of juvenile humour with a prank that three-year-olds have been carrying off successfully without teleportation probably for centuries."

Comments

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Woo! I love "unexpected consequences of Ancient gadget" stories! This was a lot of fun. I particularly liked this bit:

"I see, sort of like trying to run Windows software on a Mac."

"Hah! More like trying to run OS X on an Apple IIe. Anything else?"

Hee. And the ending was perfect.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thank you! i love ancient gadget stories too. i think the fake technology is my favourite part of sf. and silly pseudoscience makes me all shivery and happy on tv (well, the astrophysics part does, the pseudo-medicine-biology-genetics makes me want to throw things), even in its super-silly star trek forms sometimes. the gadget was surprisingly fun to hammer out, mentally--almost like getting to play with it myself. ;)

and thanks so much for the feedback!

[claire.livejournal.com]

Lovely! <3

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thank you! :)

[silviakundera.livejournal.com]

Oh my oh my. I hundred thousand squees. A squee heard round the world.

Excitement! Adventure! Sweeping romance! COFFEE.

I adore your crush laden John somuch. and oh, and Rodney love. So good.

Fantastic characterization, and actually interesting plottiness. Plus, really hot sexage stuff. Mmmmmmm....

Thank you kindly.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

*grin* thank you for cute, squeeful feedback that was really enjoyable to read! unfortunately i'm blushing and don't really know what to say so um. but hi, i'm really glad you liked it so much and... love!

also, crush-laden john is like a kink or something for me, seriously. nnng.

and also really hot sexage stuff? yay! and interesting because i felt like i was kind of going light on it. i'm glad you didn't feel it was skimpy. :)

[copracat]

That was with the making of the happy and also, the excellence.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

and also--*grin*. thank you for the feedback!

[copracat]

Also, meteor strike! What's not to love about that?

[cimness.livejournal.com]

nothing whatever, and a lot of that love should go to julad, including for the dialogue from "nothing new here" to "well, that was different", which i thought was so hilarious that i had to snitch it wholesale.

but yeah, i have to admit to a certain slightly morbid fascination for meteor strikes--my research kinda made me want to see one though in the end, that natural disaster element would probably keep me away.

[xanphibian.livejournal.com]

DAMN that was excellent. Thank you so, so much.

I loved the characterizations. It was smart and hot and I loved the way you kept it all in John's POV to keep us guessing about Rodney's take on things. Loved that. The writing is excellent, the dialogue spot-on, and the plot was very engaging.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thanks! and thank you for the feedback!

it's interesting you mention point of view--i never even considered switching to rodney's with this story, although i have written back-and-forth stories before. sheppard's head is such an infinitely, incredibly fascinating place, i feel like you could wander around for days there, and i guess immersing the story in his pov let me think more about it.

and dialogue, man, mmmh, dialogue. one of the most enjoyable parts of the show, the reading, and the writing. there's nothing more fun than witty banter. i'm so glad it worked for you!

and hey, adorable icon, by the way.

[micehell]

That had all of my favorite things in it - John and Rodney, long, stunningly detailed plot, and wonderful writing. Mucho thankses for that.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i have to admit that those are all some of my favourite things too. thank you for the feedback and the compliments, and for making me smile.

[spikedluv]

Great story! I love it when the boys play with Ancient toys. *g* And the John/Rodney interaction was wonderfully done.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i'm glad you liked it! mmmmh, john/rodney interaction.

[01100100.livejournal.com]

Great stuff. I had *a lot* fun reading this fic. Very cool story :-)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thank you! i'm glad it was fun :).

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

He smelled sharp with soap, and John was crazy, because even though he knew how soap tasted, he still wanted to lick him.

That's love, right there. *g*

That was a wonderful Ancient gadget and your Rodney-obsessed John was adorable and very believable.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

That's love, right there.

*nods* that kind of insanity is one of the most reliable early warning signs. but then again, i think in his position i'd do the same. ;)

and thank you for the compliments and taking the time to leave them. i think rodney-obsessed john is a pet idea with me that could easily have gone a little overboard. so i'm happy to know it convinced you!

[alasen.livejournal.com]

This was fantastic - I really enjoyed it, thank you.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i'm pleased you liked it--thanks for letting me know!

[northern]

Happy! Thank you for writing such a long story. I love long stories.

The hiccupping was an especially nice detail. :)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thanks for the feedback! :) glad it worked for you.

long stories can be a bitch to write, but i agree, they are wonderful to read.

(and credit where credit is due, the hiccuping idea was originally julad's, albeit slightly modified.)

[monkeypumpkin.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

ahahahah, you totally win the feedback prize. a girl never gets tired of hearing that.

[crysothemis.livejournal.com]

*thud*

::picks self off floor, dusts self off, readjusts glasses::

Wow, that was gorgeous. Long and plotty (hee! ancient tech with details! and limits! and consequences!) and sexy and delicious. I have a secret thing for stories where the sexual tension is real and present but understated and nothing gets consummated until almost the end, and this one pushed all those buttons *perfectly*.

The details were marvelous -- the voices, the characterization, the coffee. I couldn't stop reading (which made getting breakfast kind of difficult).

Yum.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

hey, wow! so many compliments i don't know where to start! thanks for taking the time to comment; this really made me grin a lot.

I have a secret thing for stories where the sexual tension is real and present but understated and nothing gets consummated until almost the end, and this one pushed all those buttons *perfectly*.

you mean there are people who don't have a thing for that kind of story? *grin* i certainly do. and i'm glad this one works for you in that way! sheppard's so dry that getting the UST and his voice in together was a nerve-wracking task. but oh, i love sheppard so much! that i still enjoyed trying. :)

[ship-recs.livejournal.com]

This is cool! I love Ancient gadget stories.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

I love Ancient gadget stories.

oh yeah, me too. gadgets are the *best*. *grin* and thank you!

[ciderpress.livejournal.com]

wheee! action, adventures with dissolving people, romance and meteors! could a girl ask for more?

dude. i love your dry, hilarious writing style -- i love that the dialogue seems to be geniunely in character!snarky rather than... just snarky and all the emotions and feeelings that they go through are so very understated and deliciously paced. uh, that really did make sense in my head. <3

[cimness.livejournal.com]

could a girl ask for more?

well, i certainly won't press you to ask for more if you're going to ply me with compliments like this! you have accidentally hit on exactly the kinds of things i would have wanted to have reinforcement about. you love my writing style and you called it hilarious and dry! um. i don't know how to take praise gracefully, excuse me, i'm just going to cuddle that to my chest like rodney with a sandwich. *cuddle* i'm pretty sure it made sense to me too, by the way, but if it didn't, i'll still cuddle it anyway.

[jamiemay.livejournal.com]

Wow. This was insanely good. Thank you so much for posting it!

The last paragraph was just perfect. I love how you worked your themes through the whole story, and how stuff that's happening in the action mirrors the relationship-type events. Kick-ass writing!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

"insanely good", hee! and "kick-ass writing"--thank you for the compliments!

i angsted over the last scene like you would not believe--i'm so glad the last paragraph seems right to you. and you know, i didn't give a lot of detailed thought to making the emotional and technical plots mirror each other? but when i look back at it, ... cool. i'm very glad you mentioned it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bettina_/]

I just read the story and it's really nice and great and I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i'm glad you enjoyed it! thanks for reading and taking the time to feedback. i appreciate the compliments. :)

[special-trille.livejournal.com]

cim! cim! oh, SO fabulous! with the teleporting and the longing (oh god, the longing) and the neck and the smelling! and plot! I COULD NOT SLEEP afterwards. I mean, 6:45 should be a time for sleeping. right? but no.

(as such I have been awake for far too long on far too little sleep. I regret my foolish, foolish decisions in the fic v sleep battle, and plan to make the some mistake over and over again)

(bwahahahaha! that first teleportation when Elizabeth is telling him off all serious and concerned and speechifying and I could just *hear* her, and John's suddenly in the gym? Heee! AHAHAHA! Rodney's quarters! both times! <3! towel/underwear! also, john is adorable and I want one of my own.)

(god. the longing. the long, long longing. aaaaah. yes. nnnngh. you write the best *wanting* ever.)

(john and rodney in the puddlejumper melts me.)

(and I meant the playing with the tech, not the other stuff)

(though, heh, the other stuff too, actually)

[special-trille.livejournal.com]

...I've had really very few hours of sleep.

[emmuzka.livejournal.com]

Woo, great story. I really liked the way John cataloged Rodney in every pornographic detail.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

hee! thank you! i love lingering on the pornographic details. the nice thing about slash fandom is that if you get a little carried away with stuff like that, your audience is generally right there with you. :)

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

Very cool story. I remain baffled at John and Rodney going on an offworld mission without the rest of their team, but they couldn't have had sex in the puddlejumper otherwise, so I guess it's not completely incomprehensible. heh. I especially enjoyed John's ongoing fascination with Rodney. That was really fun to read.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thanks for the feedback! i'm glad it was fun; i love ancient tech almost as much as i love wallowing in my ideas about john and his little crush. :)

and also:

I remain baffled at John and Rodney going on an offworld mission without the rest of their team,

hee! you know, i struggled with that exactly: they have to have sex in the puddlejumper; how do i get rid of ford and teyla? but actually, ford and teyla were there, and teyla was injured (a twisted ankle in my head, but it's not specified in the fic) and they went back through while sheppard and mckay stayed behind to finish the readings. there's only one sentence of hint about that tucked into the action, because i really wanted to open the scene right before the meteor strike: Hopefully they could finish finding out that there was nothing to find here quickly and get back through the gate to the infirmary to check on Teyla.

[flambeau.livejournal.com]

Oh, nifty! And teleporting! and yearning! and cool stuff. I liked it a lot. :)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i don't think i have been called "nifty" before! and mmmm--i adore teleportation. as is probably elaborately obvious. i'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[jackie-brown.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed your story, and I always have a soft spot for crazy in love John :)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thank you! that's about where my soft spot lies too. i mean, an even bigger one than for the other flavours of john.

[merelyn.livejournal.com]

*happy sigh* This was the long, plotty, funny, heart-clenching McShep fic I've been craving for over a week. Loved the premise, loved the dialogue, loved it, loved it loved it!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

thank you! *blush* i don't quite know what to say to so much flattering praise, but i'm glad i could provide that enjoyment. and thanks for feedbacking! it's a premise that's close to my heart.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, I enjoyed this a lot.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i'm glad it entertained. thanks for the feedback!