Cimblog

It's actually a subject of some curiosity for Mark whether Wardo really likes that many people that much, or if somewhere under the dense shell of affability and social conditioning there's a tiny core of judgmental superiority. Not because Wardo's ever given any sign of it, and Mark's done some judicious digging when Wardo was at his most inebriated - it's just that, well, he also likes Mark.

Really, he obviously does. It's not like Wardo gets anything else in particular out of their friendship, not anything he couldn't get from anyone else. He's better at algorithms than Mark is, and he's not even studying programming. Wardo is wealthier, taller, more fashionable, more social, and more conventionally attractive. Mark is marginally stronger and also better at fencing, but Wardo shows no signs of being a fencing fetishist, and it's not like he needs Mark to carry his books for him. It's usually Wardo who ends up carrying Mark's things that he forgets to take with him.

But meeting Mark's needy demands in bed also hurts Eduardo's back.

And his thighs. And his cock.

Mark hurts Eduardo's cock.

This...really should not be as surprising as it is.

“What happened? Look, turn on your computer and tell me if the quote’s accurate.”

Chris fires up his laptop and finds the first report, on the gossipy end of the tech blog. “Why are you asking? You don’t think it sounds like Eduardo?”

“No, I think it sounds exactly like the kind of defensive shit Eduardo always came out with when someone tried to call Mark out.”

Worse yet, the movie makes it all – the ups and downs of Mark's friendship with Eduardo – sound like a tragic love story with an unhappy ending, which it wasn't.

It wasn't a love story.

Was it?

“Miles. When I sat down to breakfast two days ago, we weren’t at war with anyone. Please tell me that’s still true.” He wasn’t sure how much of that statement was in jest.

Miles looked mildly offended, but a slight grin was playing around his lips. “Give me some credit, Gregor ...” I always do. “... if I was going to start a war I’d at least make sure someone else looked like they’d started it.”

"Why isn't he saying anything?"

"Give him time," another voice says; and this voice he recognizes, too. He looks where his mother is looking, and finds Raven Durona standing over him, hands on his hips, his mouth crumpled into an unbecoming frown. "Let him figure out where he is."

"When he was decanted," the Countess his mother says, "he looked around, clapped his hands together, and asked where his breakfast was. Why does he need time now?"

(555):
Hello, Ladies.
Good night (1 bajillion) Bad night (0)

“Please give the orphan children my apologies that I was unable to perform my ab xylophone recital for them. And if I'm not back by tonight, let the local wolf pack know that they'll need to accept my rain check to go hunting with them. Swan dive!” And with that, he executed a perfect dive out the nearest window into the cockpit of his personal supersonic jet. He put on his helmet and buckled up, first, of course. Being awesome is no excuse for ignoring safety regulations.

And yes, Yuletiders, this is one of the best fics. After all, I wrote it with a quill made from a rare bird with feathers made of gold which I plucked while writing a treat for you.


(Surprise Care Bear BDSM Orgy!)

Time Magazine 12/20/10
WOMEN OF THE YEAR, by Alice Liddell.

I arranged to meet the women of the Alliance for lunch at noon on Wednesday, but at ten the kraken was loose outside Seattle and at eleven-thirty there was the typhoon off Malaysia...

"There, you see? It's complicated, Water Sprite, and what I'm saying is, you have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a superhero of colour."

"But I'm green." The Water Sprite looked down at the back of her own hand.

"You're not human, you're part of an aquatic species where green skin is a mark of high status, so it doesn't count!" said The Belle in exasperation.

"Racist," said the Water Sprite with another offended column of bubbles.

"Item one for the next council meeting: diversity training for everyone on staff and especially the Water Sprite," said Cinder Woman. "Make a note of that, will you, Belle?"

“Whether or not the Grand Duchess of Marshovia has any abilities, skills, or other changes resulting from today’s attack is a question better saved for her. You may ask her when she is fully recovered,” Jasmine said.

“I don’t know whether the Grand Duchess plans to petition the Princess Superheroines for membership,” Belle said. “If she makes such a request, we will of course take it under advisement and evaluate her potential with our organization. It’s too early to speculate at this time.”

“No, this was not a standard sleeping enchantment,” Jasmine said. “We did not call on the Grand Duke to break it with true love’s first kiss because they had their first kiss many years ago—as is proved by their three children.”

• Tea This is the second box of Twinings "Passionfruit Mango & Orange" (lack of commas original to the product packaging) Tea I've bought that turned out to actually consist of lemon-flavored tea in P M & O-printed teabags. I'm bemused rather than upset by this, though. I've devoted a fair number of minutes to pondering exactly what happened in their factory to get this result.



• Soul-crushing/ shiny devices waxjism has been being forced to learn how to make the N8, our Messiah (since it's the phone that's meant to Save Nokia. Nokia made a huge loss last year, and this year is in the black and has been keeping up but not, as it were, making up for lost ground. And of course, Nokia is the single biggest piece of our GNP. Also the best publicized). She's not enjoying it. She wishes it were dead, I think. And on top of all that, it's another fucking Symbian phone.



• Teaching our elders about Internet memes and traditions When my parents were here, we made them watch Llamas With Hats and read Clean ALL the Things so that they would know what we were talking about (those are our Most Quoted Texts nowadays). We showed This Party Took a Turn for the Douche and The Man Your Man Could Smell Like to my bbsister, but failed to show them to my parents. You'd think everyone knew The Man Your Man Could Smell Like, but when interrogated, my dad revealed he didn't.



• Career thoughts Last spring I made that very irritated post about dippy hugbertism because I'd been stewing over the excess of same in my classroom assistant courses for a while. By the end of the semester, I was starting to entertain serious fears that I would die of dippyness poisoning before the end of the course. ( Read more... )

[This is partly because I have finished watching Morse and then watched Inspector Lewis from the beginning. Part of finishing up a show is looking around for things to read about it. In the case of Morse that was entirely badfic, as you may remember, but in the case of Lewis, since it is still going, the fourth series having aired a few months ago and the scripts having been handed out for the fifth, delicious.com turned up various news articles about the show and also about Laurence Fox and Billie Piper's marriage, and the fact that he teases Kevin Whately about acting mostly with his eyebrows (his eyebrow acting is the best. Someday I will make a gigantic collage of nothing but the top half of his facial expressions. How can any one forehead have that many wrinkles?) More surprisingly (I shocked perhael into lolcat speech with this yesterday), there is also some good Lewis fic about, and some of it is gen! Although I lost the first gen piece I read without bookmarking and haven't been able to find it again yet, so it's only slash represented there.]

1. My dad is in a wheelchair, so even though Finland is pretty accessible, getting places and doing things is a bit more complex.


2. My parents are pathologically disorganized and my mother reacts badly to stress, which vacation always provides her.


3. Apparently they've made a goddamned list in advance of places they want to go. I am filled with foreboding because the list thing never ends well, and setting up expectations in advance is never a good idea with my mom, who is still apparently convinced that Dad is going to force her to boycott the Turku handicapped taxi association and walk everywhere, pushing his wheelchair barefoot and uphill both directions entirely by herself (Brother Metal: "Are you talking about my mom???").

1. There's No I in Team by thefourthvine. Sports Night, Casey/Dan. A deeply hilarious story with a brilliant antagonist who comes bearing motivational slogans.



2. Temperate Self-Governance, by speakmefair. A Knight's Tale, post-canon, Chaucer/Wat established relationship, adventure. This is Wat's POV and fun, touching, funny, and very well-written sort of adventure story, that actually has a plot. A GREAT plot. Chaucer gets called into service as a spy for John of Gaunt, and Wat, advised by a well-meaning Will, gives in to his duty to help out, whether Chaucer wants him to or not. Which necessitates a bit of a quest in the company of Adhemar, ahahhaha. And in spite of the est.rel., this story has a new-relationship uncertainty to it that makes for a definite sub-plot of romance.



3. A Hogmanay Carol. HP, Minerva McGonagall/Rolanda Hooch. This is a lovely intimate portrait of McGonagall and her grumpy temper, holiday traditions, favorite literature, and her suppressed sexual attraction to Madame Hooch. Brilliantly-characterized and perfectly executed.



4. The Invisible Wall. George Weasley/Lee Jordan, accidental voyeurism, Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean. A prank gone awry traps these four, forced to witness a completely unexpected sex scene between George and Lee. The humorous and traumatized commentary is funny, and at the same time the George/Lee, porny as it is, is really touching and very romantic; in fact, it made me say OF COURSE, and start shipping it, and go looking for more, but I didn't find anything else I liked quite as much as this one.



5. Secretary Tuesdays, or: Things Unspoken. Harry/Draco, Portrait Snape, future (Auror) fic, EWE. Unlike typical Aurorfic, this one is a light-hearted comedy of manners/adventure. The post of Harry's secretary is cursed and he's been getting a new one every week... until Draco Malfoy takes the post. Lots of great little moments, not least due to the presence of Portrait Snape over the secretary's desk making caustic comments.

1. If Headaches Persist, Shoot Your Agent. James Bond movies, M, Bond/M UST. M wasn't yet sure what had prompted this latest trick of arriving precisely late enough for it to be obvious he was doing it deliberately, but not so much that he couldn't claim any number of innocent reasons, such as an overcrowded lift, or heavy traffic, but she could have set her watch by the man. If she'd wanted a perpetually late watch, that is. Awesome!



2. The General in His Labyrinth. Temeraire - Naomi Novik. Wellington, Roland/Wellington, UST. The first time Wellington heard Jane Roland laugh, his mouth went dry with yearning. Bittersweet and very well-written.



3. Spice Up Your Life With George and Brad. Actor RPF, gen. Entertainment Monthly sits down with George Clooney and Brad Pitt to talk about pranks on set, making serious movies, and polygamous compounds. (No, really!) AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.



4. A Matter of Convenience. Merlin RPF, Bradley James/Colin Morgan. Getting a flat together was one thing. Getting a puppy was quite another. Pretty adorable.



5. Where We're Going, and How To Get Back. American Idol RPF, Simon Cowell/Ryan Seacrest, Ryan POV. Ellen matchmaking, which I can see is probably about to become a new trope in Ryan/Simon, and Ryan being rather clueless and Simon both a realistic asshole and kind of sweet. This is really a very good story.

1. An Original Work (Authenticity and Provenance Debateable). St Trinian's, Annabelle/Kelly. Hustle crossover. A con job requires Annabelle to pretend to be Kelly's girlfriend.



2. The Beginning of Wisdom. Poirot, Poirot & Hastings, friendship. Hastings comes home to England; Poirot has a Christmas plan all ready for him. Casefic... kind of.



3. Just Rewards. Poirot, Poirot & Hastings friendship and/or smarm. Hastings gets ticked off on Poirot's behalf; Poirot counsels patience.



4. The Mechanical Heart. Sherlock Holmes, Holmes/Watson UST. This is clearly a pairing story in addition to casefic, but as nothing is explicit aside from Holmes's passionate concern for Watson's safety, and occasional whimsical concern for his happiness, it could actually fit quite well in canon - probably without shocking a Victorian readership.



5. Of Events Past and Future. The Masqueraders - Georgette Heyer. Canon pairings, gen. Prudence and Robin, their father and their spouses beguile an afternoon around the fire with a tale of their past escapades (by which we mean 'cons') told by Pru. Which is bloody fantastic - hilarious, wonderful, exactly in the style of the original. Made me wish for a whole novel or four of sequels (well, prequels?), like a Georgian version of Hustle.

1. Ordinary Chocolate. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005). Charlie and Wonka. Most times, Wonka made candy for the sake of making candy. This time, he made it for Charlie. I had to list this one first, because it was for me! When I requested Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I wasn't really sure whether I preferred canon-like gen, with Charlie a child growing up in the factory, or grown-up Charlie futurefic slash with a master and apprentice vibe. I mushed both requests up together in one and got extraordinarily lucky in that two very talented people wrote me stories, and one happened to answer each request! This story is set quite soon after the canon, and the voices and visuals clearly demonstrate the influence of the Tim Burton movie. Charlie is having trouble settling into school and his life at the chocolate factory, particularly with the paparazzi. Wonka suggests that he stop going to school altogether, but that's not the situation his family prefers - so Wonka looks for a way to solve the problem... with candy! Okay, first of all, the premise is pretty brilliant. Second of all, the execution is awesome, and includes several independently great ideas - it's from Wonka's point of view, which is wacky of course, and has just the right note to the narration; and the factory is actually characterized as a real character which is pretty breathtaking. Also, it is quite focused on the magic, which is always my favorite thing.



2. A Room With A View. Temeraire - Naomi Novik. Wellington, Perscitia, and the Duchess of Wellington, post-Victory of Eagles. When I was making my Yuletide requests, I had two in mind for this fandom, one of which was for a pairing which already has a bit of a following (Laurence/Tharkay), and one of which was for gen with Wellington and Perscitia. Their meeting in canon is a bit brief, so I didn't hold out much hope that that story would be written; but it was, and not even for me! This story came into existence through some brilliant happy accident, and is so exactly the story I was longing to read after the end of the book that I was rather surprised. It's actually better than that, because it's got a strong thread of feminism woven in, and the multi-faceted friendship between Perscitia and Wellington's wife Kitty is just amazing. Almost as amazing as Perscitia living on Wellington's estate, making plans, engaging tutors, and chewing out stupid politicians. ♥!!!!!!



3. Treasures. Aladdin - Disney. Aladdin, Abu, Iago, Genie, Jasmine. This is a great piece of gen that takes the world of the movie and makes it just slightly more realistic. It also has characters of color, obviously. This little story is so cunningly-crafted, from the little references to the movie in it and the hints of the darker reality of a homeless street child to the humorous interjections of Genie and Jasmine as Aladdin is telling the story. It expands canon, correcting some of its faults, but with affection.



4. Mr Yunioshi's Photographs. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Mr Yunioshi. This little story is so well-written, so compact, so touching and bittersweet. I hope it becomes one of the most-recced stories of this year's Yuletide; it certainly deserves to be. This is exactly the kind of intelligent, sharp, reclaiming fiction for characters of color that you like to see. I know that for me and many other people, looking at Breakfast at Tiffany's through the eyes of an adult threatens to completely ruin it because of the yellowface and horribly offensive portrayal of Mr Yunioshi, the landlord. This story takes him and gently humanizes him, concentrating on his setting there in that apartment building and ranging back over his life through the collection of photos he keeps there. It's sad, but matter-of-fact, and creates an entire backstory for Mr Yunioshi through elegant, minimal sketches.



5. Four Times Hardison Told His Nana He Was Sorry, And One Time He Said He Was (But Totally Wasn't). Leverage. Alec Hardison. A funny, light-hearted and delightful little tidbit to finish with! This is the story of Hardison's life-long affair with science fiction TV, starting with old Doctor Who and going through Babylon 5, Jake 2.0 and Chuck, the awesomeness of Avery Brooks in Deep Space Nine, the brilliance of the first season of New Who and the totally infuriating racism in the Martha season... and finishing with the new Star Trek movie. XD Of course, it wouldn't be Hardison if all of this wasn't accompanied with hijinks, hacking, and conning the post office.